after all...

Quick Note Before Bed

2010-04-26T20:47:00.001-07:00

I guess I've been having to deal with more and more "grown up" stuff as time goes on - learning to be responsible, learning that I can't go crying to someone to fix it for me, learning that you don't always get to do what you want ;-) You might expect me to say something about wishing I could be a kid again, but the funny thing is, I really don't. Maybe life isn't as care free as it once was, but I wouldn't change it. I didn't have my Dave when I was a kid, and my life is infinitely better with him in it. I also like how I've grown and who I've become. I definitely don't miss the emotional ups and downs. We're still on the journey, but we know where we're going now. I'm enjoying the time now, and I'm so looking forward to the time to come. I guess I didn't have to be so scared of growing up after all.

2010-02-18T13:05:00.001-08:00

Well, Dave and I are both working part time, and we're squeaking by. But it would be nice to throw a little extra money at the school loans. And eating a low cholesterol diet (especially in East Texas ;-) ) is sadly more expensive than junk food. Other various expenses have started to line up as well. I decided I needed to do something about it.

Getting another part time job is of course, always an option, but giving up my time with Dave for bad pay at a job I probably wouldn't even like was a little hard to stomach. I talked with a couple of friends who had experience in Mary Kay and set up an appointment with a Independent Sales Director.

Long story short, I really liked the sound of it. I've never been interested in sales, but anyone who knows me knows how much I love make-up and beauty products! I also love setting and achieving my own goals, choosing for myself when I work and when I play, and of course, making new friends :-) So I have decided to launch my own Mary Kay business!

And now I would like to post a disclaimer. Please, PLEASE know that I never want to push anything on anyone. I love make-up, and I really love money, but I definitely love my friends more than both of those put together ;-D If you never, ever buy anything from me, I don't care. I'd rather have your friendship than your business, and I'd really hate to drive anyone I care about away through pushy sales tactics. I want you all to know where I stand on that - it's a major reason I never tried something like this before. Now that you all know how I feel, I shall continue.

There is no way that I can promise to never say anything about Mary Kay. For one, I love make-up. If you've read my blogs or facebook, you know that I'm always gushing about some beauty product or other I've found. The difference now is that if you like it, you can buy it from me ;-D And I've been looking a long time for a job I can really enjoy. If this happens to be it (and I'm just thinking it might,) you're not going to get me to shut up about it.

So, to jump start my business I've taken on the 24/24/24 challenge! The goal is to sell 24 worth of product to 24 people in 24 hours. It's a big challenge, so I've given mine a personal name: "Friday Frenzy!" From midnight tonight until midnight tomorrow night I will be jumping in and working to make my first sales! If anything in your cosmetics case is running low, drop me a line ;-D

And remember, Mary Kay is not just make-up. We have excellent skin care products (including some great anti-aging stuff that I'm very excited about) body washes, perfume, and even some mens products!

Here's my website: www.marykay.com/kblaser

If you don't want to order from the website, give me a call, FB message me, text me, or send me an email and let me know what you want! Where ever you are, I'll ship it too you on me. And you should know that if you buy 40 or more in products you get a free gift!

Thanks so much for your consideration :-D I'm really excited about this.

Don't stop believing

2010-01-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

Soul cries for expression.

I know I was given my talents and desires for a reason.

As dreams of a lit stage and adoring crowds drift in and out of darkness, newer, sweeter dreams rise and hover just beneath the surface.

A single adoring fan, smiling sleepily from a bed of blankets. The love in her eyes is worth far more than crowds of thousands.

She's waiting for us, down the road a couple of years, along with her siblings.

I don't care if it's old fashioned, I don't care if it's not popular. I know in my heart I was born to be a mother. I don't mind waiting either. I know it's not time yet, and these years of waiting allow me to grow. When the time is right, I'll be ready to help them grow in turn.

Sometimes I catch flashes of my future. The most vivid I ever had happened my sophmore year at LeTourneau. Dave and I weren't dating yet, but we were good friends. One night I walked into his room and stopped in the doorway before he realized I was there. In a flash I saw him, sitting at a desk, leaning back in his chair just as he was that night, but with one exception. A baby was sleeping on his chest. In that instant I knew he would be an amazing husband and father. And I felt a surge of jealousy for the girl who got to share that life and that child with him. Of course, it wasn't too much later that I discovered, much to my delight, that I was that girl.

I've never had another glimpse that clear, but I do see our future. It's a good one :-)

I hope it gives you... well, you know

2010-01-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

"Now you'll never see what you've done to me

You can take back your memories, they're no good to me

And here's all your lies, you can look me in the eyes

With the sad, sad look that you wear so well."

"Shall I take back everything I've ever said

And live my whole life in silence instead?

Maybe you're right, but I don't think so"

"I don't need your alibies

Cause I can see through all your lies

You say you love me, yes you do

But I know who I'm talking to

You left me

So lonely

And empty"

"I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me

The best of us can find happiness in misery"

There's something about songs like that I really love. Probably because the times I've been really hurt I've been to shy and quiet to say anything. There's also something just really fun about "screw you" sorts of songs. Maybe because you can really get the emotion going behind them.

The funny thing is, I've never been hurt in a romantic relationship. Dave's the only one I've ever loved that way - he's the only one who's ever had that power to hurt me, and he's the one who never would.

I have been hurt by churches, youth groups, individuals, etc. I don't get really, truly hurt very easily, but when I do it takes me a long time to get over.

Fortunately, I'm over it ;-D

These songs make me excedingly happy, because I really can say "screw you." I'm not held down by those hurt feelings any more. I can laugh in the face of past wounds, kicking dirt in the face of bitterness that used to weigh me down.

As "passed it all" as I am, I am still human. So, I can't deny grinning at these songs as I think of all the people that have done their best to kick the legs out from under me, and how miserably they have failed.

And once again, I can't actually be moody about it. I'm almost laughing as I write this post! I had such a limited range of emotions for so long (desperately grasping to hope and cheerfulness, or utter depression) that opening up this rainbow of other emotions makes me extremely happy.

So, to end this,

"I closed my eyes, and I slipped away...

It's more than a feeling."

Dave and me

2009-10-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post will probably interest only our mothers (Cathleen and Chris) if even them ;-) But writing/talking about things helps me figure them out and understand them better, so that's the main reason for this. And I figure maybe there are a couple other people out there who are like me, and enjoy getting glimpses into other peoples self-discovery ;-) This is a pretty long glimpse though...

Dave and I both took an official Myers Briggs type indicator test from the Letu website, and then went and talked with Steve Gatton about them (separately of course.) We found found out that I am an ENTP (Extraverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) and Dave is an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) I love learning this stuff about myself, and about others. It's really helped me figure out some things about myself. But I'm going to talk about Dave first ;-)

He let me go through the print outs of his results. It was like flipping through a list of all the things I love about Dave :-) His logic, his practicality, his loyalty, the way he seems so quiet at first, but is absolutely hilarious once he's comfortable around people.

And then I came across this section: "It can be hard for ISTJs to see the sense in needs that differ widely from their own; but once they are convinced that something matters to a person they care about, that need becomes a fact. They will then go to generous lengths to meet the need, even while continuing to think it doesn't make sense." That is Dave. Completely Dave. He's often bewildered by the things that capture my interest or mean a lot to me for seemingly no reason. But once he realizes something is important to me, he'll go out of his way to bring it home to me, to take me out for it, to talk with me about it, or to just listen while I ramble animatedly about it. The amazing thing is, he never does it begrudgingly. In fact, he often seems to enjoy it. Fashion may not be the most practical interest ever (though he's always liked to dress well) but he knows how much it means to me, and will always listen as I go on about the latest trend I'm excited about. He's even made the effort to learn terms and descriptions! How amazing is it that I can hold a conversation about fashion with my husband? And of course, that's just one of the many ways that he's taken the time and effort to learn about the things that mean a lot to me.

There are certainly ways in which we differ as well. Dave is orderly, loves routine and perfecting ways of doing things, and is very reliable. I am far from orderly, if I've found the perfect way of doing something then I find another way of doing it that isn't so boring, and I can be a little excitable. However, while Dave keeps me grounded and focused, I can help him with change and uncertainty. I'm very adaptable, and relish changes and surprises. Moving is fun and exciting to me, so when the time for it comes I'm able to keep Dave's spirits up as his world is turned to chaos ;-)

We balance each other incredibly well, and with a lot of gentle understanding for the way the other works.

E/I
Dave knows how much I love being around people, and doesn't mind when I pop down to Letu while he's working; or he'll take me out window shopping - just to get out. And I understand that while he loves being with friends, he recharges in the quiet alone times, so we always end the evening cuddled together watching a favorite tv show.

N/S
Dave notices everything around him - everything he can take in with his five senses. He's incredibly observant, and can find his way around almost anywhere. He's also very good at visual arrangements - he's always the one to arrange the art in our home ;-) I, on the other hand, could probably walk right off the end of a pier and not even notice. Although, the only way I'd get to the pier is if I was trying to get to the opposite side of town - I get lost going anywhere. Ask me to describe a place I've just been, and I won't remember any details. However, while I may not be aware of all the details around me, the things I take in sink into my subconscious and give me "feelings." I may not remember what a place looks like, but I'll remember the feel of it. Sometimes we'll see quite a normal looking person, and while Dave doesn't understand why, they'll give me a chill, and I know there's something that isn't right about them. And then just last night we saw a man who Dave thought looked exactly like someone you wouldn't want to be left alone with, but I said "Nah, he's not bad." ;-) While Dave sometimes gets brought down by the circumstances around us - the observations he makes about our existence right now, I tend to look forward to the future - I have a good feeling about what's coming :-)

T/F
I wouldn't have pegged myself as "Thinking." I always thought I was a pretty emotional person. (For you Jane Austin fans, I always thought of Annie as Eleanore and me as Marianne.) But the more I talked about it with Steve Gatton (he's one of those people where you just have to say both names) it became more and more clear that I'm definitely "Thinking." (Thinking types tend to be objective and base decisions on logic - a very black and white way of looking at things; Feeling types tend to allow for more grey area, taking into account peoples feelings and situations when making decisions.) I'm more practical than I would have liked to admit in the past. Deena put it a good way when she said that "Feeling" types tend to be more on the people pleasing side. I am SO not a people pleaser - I'm sure those of you who know me well can attest to that... ;-) I'm very glad that both Dave and I are "Thinking." While we're opposites in all the other "letters," I think that balances us out. However, if one of us was Feeling, I think we'd drive the other one CRAZY ;-)

P/J
There's a scale of 0-30, indicating how much you are in one area or another - He's a 9 on Introversion, I'm a 16 on Extraversion; he's a 19 on Thinking while I'm just an 8. Well, while he is only a 4 on Judging, I'm a 30 on Perceiving. Steve Gatton saw that 30 and said "Well, you'd probably be an interesting person to be around!" haha ;-) This is the part that means Dave is orderly, and likes to have things planned out, where as I'm very flexible and don't want to miss out on anything. Apparently Steve Gatton told Dave that if he'd been any higher on Judging that he'd have a hard time putting up with me ;-)

I was going to write a little more about my own self discovery, but perhaps I'll just leave this post as one about the way Dave and I relate, and how we compliment each other so well :-) I don't think that either of us really believe in soul mates, but you know, it really does seem like we were made for each other...

I belong on the shore ;-)

2009-09-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

We traveled a bit this summer. We spent a couple of weeks in San Antonio, then a couple of weeks in New York, and then we drove from New York to Texas. We saw a lot and did a lot, but one thing we didn't do was go to the beach.

It's been three years since we were at South Padre, and two years since the chilly shores of Maine, and a year since sunny Florida. This summer I realized just how much I was aching to return to the sea. It really is my favorite place in the world. And this was going to be the first summer in years I wouldn't be able to go.

I started feeling pretty down about it. For the first 18 years of my life the beach was only about an hour away. I got kind of used to it being around. It made me really sad to think of not going this year.

One night I had a dream. I don't remember much of it, but I know it was one of the most real dreams I've ever had. I was on the beach with Dave. I know we were there at least a day, possibly much longer. But as the sunset on the last day, I turned to him and said "Now I'm ok. I've been to the beach this year, and I'm happy."

And I woke up and I was happy.

"Some have gone, and some remain"

2009-07-31T17:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm not very good at keeping friends. I've had friendships that faded over time and distance, there have been fights, I've had friendships end suddenly with no explanation, and I've had friendships that were never meant to be and so burn out quickly.

I enjoy rekindling friendships that have faded. Sometimes. Sometimes there's just a bittersweet feeling that's left when you know you shared something special, but that it's gone forever.

When I've been hurt, I find it very hard to trust again. Little offenses in life I quickly forget. But something that wounds me deeply - well, I'm afraid even after I've mostly healed, I find it hard to trust again. Sometimes with good reason.

I can only remember one friendship that has ended bitterly, but has been rekindled and now burns steady again. It's not a friendship I deserve. There's something I did that I can't take back, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

But she's more gracious than I could ever dream of being. I can only say how grateful I am to be a part of her life. Many good things are happening for her, and I know she deserves them all. There are very few people I know I will be friends with all of my life. She is one of them.

A couple more quotes, and about a movie

2009-06-18T17:56:00.000-07:00

"Hey girl!"

- awesome older-ish lady who talks to me and give me cleaning tips. It's funny because I wouldn't have expected a "Hey girl!" out of her ;-)

"You weren't even here long enough to meet my family!"

- How cool is it when customers want you to meet their families?? Haha ;-)

"I'm sad to lose you, I hate to see you go. But you're going to something better, and that's what makes the pain bearable."

- Could you ask for a better send off from your boss??

Honestly, I never thought I could be so blessed by a fast food job. I guess it shows you never know what will come of things, and that it pays to trust God :-) And if ever you're in the Sachse/Garland area and need a job, go check out the Whataburger off 78 ;-)

For my birthday (back in November) I really, really wanted Mean Girls, and Dave told me he'd get it for me. We found (for the same price) a sort of girl trilogy made up of Mean Girls, She's the Man, and Clueless. I love Mean Girls, I saw She's the Man with Christina and really liked it (watched it since getting it and liked it even more ;-) ) and I figured "Well, I'll probably watch Clueless sometime when I'm bored..." I wasn't feeling well yesterday, and I ended up staying home from work. I suddenly remembered Clueless, and decided to watch it. It took me about 20 minutes before I realized it was Emma! (The novel by Jane Austin.) I was pleasantly surprised at how closely the movie followed the book, in plot and in the "moral" of the story, without seeming contrived. I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad I have it :-) Though I'm kind of sad I missed out on that whole "as if" thing. Ummmmmm, no not really. ;-)

Anyway, work out time for now. Perhaps more later.

Funny Quotes from Work

2009-06-12T18:26:00.000-07:00

"You look real pretty today"
"What are you talking about? She's always pretty!"
- The two really old guys that come in every day

"How are you doing?"
"How am I doing? How am I doing?? Well, I can't hear anything, everything hurts, and I still have to walk all the way over there! ::points to door across room:: But I'm doing just fine!"
- One of the mangers and one of the really old guys

"Um, I'll take a diet coke please"
- A little girl who couldn't have been more than three

"Karen, you're too white. You need to get some sun."
- One of the not quite so old guys that comes in every day

"You live where?? You rich little s--t!"
- Another one of the not quite so old guys (I explained that we're not - and that we're moving ;-) )

"Is it hot?" ::sticks finger in coffee as I'm pouring it::
"AHH!" ::spills coffee everywhere::
- Nice beard guy who comes in every day, and me

"You know what happens when you get my age?"
"What?"
"You get CRS. You know what that is?"
"What?"
"Can't Remember S--t!"
- Random old guy and me

"Be sweet! You always are."
- Old guy who still climbs roofs and works with air ducts

"There's my girlfriend! I bet you thought I forgot about you!"
- Not quite so old guy who was out for a few days for knee surgery

"This here's my girlfriend."
"Wait, wait! She can't be your girlfriend, she's ours!"
- Not quite so old guy and really old guy ;-)

"I'm going to the dentist today. I hate the dentist."
- Other really old guy

"I'm having a SLEEPOVER!"
- Another little girl, not more than three ;-)

"Double charge him!"
One of my managers - every. single. time. we get his card for an employee discount. Apparantly he thinks it only gets funnier ;-)

::poking me in the stomach:: "Gordo??"
Carmen, one of the cooks, making fun of me for eating soup instead of a burger ;-)

::hides around corner, peeking around and giggling::
- Really old man

There are so many more than I don't remember right now... I am going to miss that place ;-)

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

The other day, as I was washing dishes or folding clothes or some such thing, I looked down and realized I have my mother's hands. Then I smiled as I started thinking of all the wonderful things my mother's hands have done.

My mother is one of the most nurturing people I know. She thinks she isn't, but maybe that's part of what makes her good at it. By nurturing, I don't mean the kind of mom who hovers around her children doing everything for them, cooing at them every step of the way. My mom sees the best in people, and will subtly nudge them in that direction. She has never told me what to do with my life, but she listens as I talk about ideas I have. She's always encouraging, and always believes in us one hundred percent. No matter what is going on in our lives, she always lets us know how proud she is of us. This goes for me and my siblings, as well as the two men who have joined our family by marriage. She doesn't discriminate - she considers Dave and Paul her sons now.

That's another thing I love about my mother - she thinks as highly of Dave as I do. I know that when I'm frustrated I can call my mom, she'll let me vent, and then she'll gently help me see Dave's side of things. It means so much to me that I know she'll never, ever put him down. I'm so blessed to have parents who love and accept my husband as their own.

It's not just our lives that my mother has made a difference in. She was a teacher for a few years, before her family came along. Though I wasn't there, I know she made a difference in those lives. I know this because I saw how she taught classes at our homeschool co-ops. She's not the kind who tolerates disrespect or cutting up. This is not to say she's not fun - her class on radio drama was a blast. She believes in structure and order, which is something children need and respond to. She has "the look," and we've seen it quell a vampire in one look. (You may think I'm making that up, but I'm not.) She was strict with kids sometimes, but instead of driving them away, it seemed to draw them to her. It's because they knew she was doing it because she genuinely cared about them - she wanted them to become the best they could. My mother always had a soft spot for the "troublemakers." It made her so upset to hear other moms saying derogatory things about them. She always saw deeper, into the heart of kids. And she's been right about them.

Now that we've all grown and are either in college, or past it, she's still doing things to improve children's education. She, along with several other homeschooling moms, run a Homeschool Round-Up every summer. They organize booths, speakers, book tables, even meals. It's a place for families to come get information and encouragement. Every summer my mother pushes herself to exhaustion to make this happen. She has always gotten joy out of helping others, and I'm proud to have inherited her hands. I hope I can use them in such wonderful ways as she has.

But I haven't been blessed with just one amazing mother. Dave's mother has been more than I ever thought possible in a mother-in-law. I was immediately welcomed into the Blaser family. Instead of questioning me to see if I was good enough for her son, or making small talk out of obligation, Chris talked with me out of an genuine desire get to know me.

Chris is fun. She's just a fun person to be around. She's always laughing. She's always ready to jump in the car and go somewhere. But we also have fun staying in and making fun of dumb tv shows. She's my favorite person to go shopping with (well, tied with Annie ;-) ) She gets me to try on things I'd never think to try myself, but at the same time she never judges me for my taste - even when it's different from hers.

Fun is far from the only word to describe Chris. She's a fiercely loyal friend, and she feels deeply what her friends feel. If someone she cares about is hurting, she's right there hurting with them, and she'll do whatever she can to make things better.

She, too, has a desire to help people. I don't think you could be as great a nurse as she is (and she really is) for as long as she has been, and still be so joyful in life, if she didn't have that desire. Anyone who can claim Chris Blaser as a friend is blessed indeed. And she has categorically broken every mother-in-law stereotype there ever was ;-)

I honestly can't believe how blessed I am to have these two women in my life. They have both influenced my life greatly, and I strive to be more like them everyday. I know I don't deserve them, but I certainly never take them for granted. I love you both, and I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Petrified key limes make good cat toys

2009-04-02T15:04:00.000-07:00

They're trying to retrieve one from under my desk right now.

I guess it's been a while again. Things have happened. We were able to go to SA for a week while Harry was in town for spring break. We did pretty much nothing, and it was pretty fun ;-) Well, we did wash pretty much every car at the house - except for Harry's, which we realized after we left. Sorry Harry. I played the piano quite a bit, which was really great. Seriously. It was really nice just to chill out with family, eat grilled meals on the back porch, and play games in the evenings. I even actually won a game, which does not happen very often. Annie and I browsed Ulta (and even got a couple things, cause she had a coupon and they had a sale) and then went to Barns & Noble and looked at hair and make-up books. Fun girls night. I got to catch up with family members, and of course at least one Sherwood was over almost every night when we were there. Dave and I also got time to just sit and talk. I know, I know, we see each other every day and spend all kinds of time together. But sometimes it's good to get someplace other than your own home - I don't know why, but it makes a difference. That's why going out on dates is important, though a little bit harder when you don't want to actually spend money... ;-)

(Dave is now singing "All the single ladies, all the single ladies" Thank you Beyonce)

Anyway. There have been ups. There have been downs. Today I'm having a good day. I think that things are looking up. Though, we've thought that before. I'm really trying to keep any mild feelings of hope, excitment about life, or relief at bay, because that's really come back to bite me in the butt sooo many times. But, for now I think things are going ok. There have been some good things going on. No, I'm not pregnant. Just don't even ask. GOSH people. Haha, but seriously, my favorite thing to do now is to ask newly weds if they're pregnant. Well, if I know them. If I didn't know them that would be weird.

In other news, our cats are still awesome. They're huge (16 and 18 or 19 I think) and sometimes that does cause problems, especially after they spend a week with their tiny little aunty Llyan who can dantily jump on or over anything. After watching her, they always decide to try it. No matter how many times it doesnt work... And yes, they are certainly big enough to leap our kitchen counter in a single bound. I can't tell you how many times I've opened our bedroom door in the morning and found produce at my feet. The other day they discovered a whole bag of key limes. Thus the title of the post. But they're very sweet, and very entertaining. Sure, they run around like crazy sometimes, tearing a path of distruction behind them (ok, not that bad) but it's worth it for the times they look at you, their big amber eyes full of meaning, and you can almost hear them saying "I love you." Well, you can definitely hear them purring anyway. Yeah, ok, that was sappy. I don't feel bad writing it though, as long as one person (Sydney!) will know what I'm talking about ;-)

We've been going through our seasons of Scrubs again. Which you would probably know if you talk to me (and watch the show.) I somehow always pick up on tones, inflections, and phrasology from whatever show we're currently binging on. I also pick up things from books. It's really funny when I've been reading a lot of Agatha Christie. Lingo from the 20s, 30s, 40s... er, lets just say all the way to even the 70s... ANYWAY, proper british + period speach ends up seeping into my vocabulary. And it gets mixed with everything else up in there... also, I mimic (and sometimes mock) the people I hear around me. Seriously, I was SO meant to be a cartoon voice!! How do you get discovered as a cartoon voice?

Anyway... that's probably enough rambling for now.

P.S. I love my new hair cut. Or... you know, my three week old hair cut...

A post about flair? Ok, she's lame...

2009-03-04T10:14:00.000-08:00

I'm sure by now you are all aware of the fact that I love sending people flair on facebook. A lot. HOWEVER. There are some that really BURN MY BISCUITS. So I'm going to vent about them here.

1. The ones that say "Some people hide because they just want someone to care enough to come looking for them" or "I build up walls just to see if anyone cares enough to climb over." Guess what people? Relationships (of any kind) take effort from BOTH sides. You can't just sit and hide and do nothing and expect your destined mate or your new BFF to some rushing in and save you from it all. You gotta put some work in there too. And guess what? The people that reeeeeeally want to find you and climb the walls while you do nothing - they're called STALKERS.

2. "I like walking in the rain because then no one knows I'm crying." Ok, so you have a flair of it. Now people now. Oops, was that what you really wanted? For people to know you're sad? Way to go with the subtley there.

3. "I don't just fall down stairs - I fall UP them!" Oh my gosh you must be so special. Oh wait. 5 million people have added that flair. Guess not. Seriously, I have met sooo many girls that seem to think falling up the stairs is a big deal. I'm pretty sure EVERYONE (except Marry Poppins) trips while going up the stairs, at least once in a while.

4. Any flair about Twilight. I tried to send some to Sydney as a joke, but it's just too frightening. Seriously, is it a cult? The obsession really freaks me out. And grosses me out.

5. Flair that says "Not now honey, Mommy's on facebook." How is that funny? How is that cool at all? When did child neglect become a joke? My mom has always been a computer person, but if we needed her she always dropped (heck, she STILL drops) everything to help us out or listen to us.

And those are my five for today. Yes, there are probably better things I could be doing with my time. Anyone want to hire me?

These are a few of my favorite things

2009-02-09T12:26:00.001-08:00

If you asked me what three of my favorite things are, I would say lighthouses, dragons, and trains. I'm not sure why, but those three things have always had some special quality for me, and for some reason, have all been put into the same category. I have no idea what that category would be, but somehow they all seem... to belong together. Maybe not together... I dont' know, they have the same feel about them. Well, not exactly I guess... There is some part of their essence that binds them together as three points of a triangle. I know that sounds totally crazy and melodramatic... but I guess I don't care.

Oddly enough, dragons (or dragon) and lighthouses (or lighthouse...) are both prominant in one of my favorite childhood movies - Pete's Dragon. Actually, "odd" was the wrong word to use, cause that makes total sense that they would both hold a childlike magid spell over me. Kind of a weird movie, but I still love the music from it, and frequently listen to it on my ipod. Trains, I'm not so sure. But there are all sorts of train songs that I hear, and somehow I'm just sure that I heard them before, long ago. "Starlight Express," "Midnight Train to Georgia," the one about a midnight train going aaaaaanywheeeeeeere ;-), and even Elton John's "This Train Don't Stop." Others too, that I can't remember right now. Some of those I blame on "Shining Time Station" and the little box they used to watch short films in - it always played train songs. Though I seriously doubt if it played a song about a musician who's disillusioned with his life and art (that would be the Elton John song.)

Lighthouses always stand where land meets water, and that's always been one of my favorite places to be. They also look to the sea, which has always been one of my favorite places to look.

Dragons represent magic and other worlds - the things and places that have held my facination for as long as I can remember.

When you come across traintracks, look down both ways. One way is ordinary, and looks completely normal. But the other way is magic, and you feel like if you could just follow those tracks, you might end up somewhere very special. Like even the walking along them would be something special. Dave laughed the first time I said that, but then he looked down both ways and told me I did have a point.

Why am I rambling about this today? I blame the weather. There's sleeping energy in the air today.

What the flamin' flyin'???

2009-02-08T21:09:00.000-08:00

So, Bertie is now a little over 17 pounds, and Reggie finally broke 15. And no, they're not just fat. They're in very good kitty shape, and have lost most of their kitten chub. They are just that huge. They're tall enough to stand on their hind legs and rest their front paws on the kitchen counter - and don't think they don't try to knock things off while I'm washing dishes or making supper. Thankfully they're not tall enough to actually see what's up there - they can only see things on the edge and then feel around for anything else.

They're actually so big that they don't fit into normal cat sized litterboxes any more. Haven't for a while now. They've been squishing into a couple of boxes that they can't even stand straight in, and they have not been so happy about it. So the other day Dave went out and got a giant 29 gallon plastic bin, and we threw a bunch of litter in the bottom. They're pretty much extatic. They expressed their appreciation by lounging in it. Kind of gross... but we're glad to have happy kitties.

I could go on with more stories about the adorable antics of my cats, but I won't. I try to keep that in check.

In other news, Rock Band 2 is aaaaaaawesome. Friday we all ganged up on Geoff until he caved, and he (or he and Josh, not sure) got it. So that was a bit of our weekend ;-) Dave laughed at me because I got almost just excited about the new outfits and hair and etc as I did about the actual music and playing. And yeah, I totally want my character's outfit. (Glow in the dark cat's eyes!) In Rock Band 1 Dave and I were Boris and Natasha. This time we're Regis and Kelly. Yes, we are that dorky. Yes, I just used the word dorky... Oddly enough, Eye of the Tiger is really fun to sing.

I finally discovered a place to get fresh, reasonably priced food! Fiesta Mart! It's a bit of a drive, so I'll probably only go there once every two weeks or so, but man... I walked into that place and I felt like I was home! It really reminded me of the Valley and of the way grocery shopping should be. They had soooo much produce - by far the biggest selection I've found here. So I got tons of veggies, some chicken (also reasonably priced,) and a couple of awesome Mexican pasteries from the bakery ;-)

Also, strangely enough, I think I'm kind of getting addicted to working out. I've spent most of my life avoiding exercise. (A few exceptions: dance, working out with Dave at Letu... ok, so two exceptions...) But since Dave has been working, and I'm still looking for a job, I've found that working out regularly helps a lot with the stress and the general bummed-out-ness at lack of income and job opportunities. I've never been the kind to push myself, especially not physically... or, you know, accademically ;-P but it's pretty awesome what I've discovered I can do. I don't know how it measures up to other people, but for me it's really good. And I keep doing a little bit more each time. Though I need to learn balance too. Occasionally my ankle will go out for brief periods of time (several hours to a few days) due to a gymnastics mishap about 12 years ago. (This is what happens when you take gymnastics when you're too old :-P) But seriously, that pop - you could hear it through the whole gym. Daaaang, that hurt. Anyway, it went out the other day, but I was really wanting to go work out. I told myself I'd take it easy, but I ended up pushing myself even more than the last time. I went farther, but there were also several wince-and-gasp moments. And of course the next day my ankle hurt even more, aaaaas did my knee from walking funny cause my ankle hurt :-P So I haven't worked out since then. Thankfully my ankle is pretty much better now.

Blah, blah. I don't really think any of that is all that interesting, but I suppose I just felt like writing.

We've started making iced herbal tea every day (YES FROM BAGS FJORD) which is awesome and refreshing and makes me think of summers when we were kids. Or... youths. Whatev. It's also cheeper than soda or bottled water, but much more tasty than plain filtered water. Though filtered water is toooons better than the water from our tap, which tastes like dirt. Obviously I use filtered water to make the tea.

Recently I've really gotten into the new Dr. Who. I love that show. It reminds me a lot of the old one too, so it makes me think of watching it with my mom and Annie (and even Audrey once in a while too - "Dooooooooor OPEN!")

Anyway. I guess that's enough random rambling for tonight.

creativity

2009-01-30T21:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I sit with my sketchbook in my lap and wonder why it used to be so natural to sit and sketch for hours (I wasn't good, I just enjoyed it) and now I don't even know how to start.

And then I remember. That was when I kept all my emotions pent up and sketching was the only way I expressed myself. Haha. Probably this way is better ;-) I'm still trying to re-learn how to get my emotions out onto that page though.

I used to write a lot more too. Well... I used to write about myself a lot more. I'd occasionally write other things. But I don't do that as much any more either. I think it's because I've gotten so much figured out - not all of it by far - but I'm not nearly the mess I used to be. Again, much better this way. But I'm still trying to re-learn how to express myself through writing.

Music still works though. I can still feel it when I play the piano and sing. That's good. I think I'd be lost if I forgot how to do that.

But yeah. I'm trying to learn to be creative again. I'd hate to think that my only creative expression comes from emo-screwed-up-ness. That would be depressing. Which would make me emo-screwed up again. Which would mean I'd be creative again. Which would make me happy. Which would once again rob me of my creativity. Which would make me depressed. It's a vicious, vicious cycle. That is a weird word to see repeated like that, which makes me wonder if I spelled it right... but not quite enough to actually take the time to check.

All in all, I'm really glad I'm not emo-screwed-up any more.

"Sunday's on the phone to Monday"

2008-09-07T13:09:00.000-07:00

"Tuesday's on the phone to me"

Another Sunday morning not spent in church. We regularly say "maybe" but never actually go. We kind of had an excuse this time. We stayed up quite late on Friday, thus slept in a bit Saturday, weren't sleepy til fairly late Saturday night, and had no desire what-so-ever to wake up Sunday morning. Though I really never feel the need for an excuse. I'm ok with just saying "You know what? I don't want to." People pick on us, sometimes we even get guilt trips. But really, how can going to church be good if you really don't want to, and if you're uncomfortable the whole time you're there? I haven't been quite as opposed the the idea more recently, but honestly I think that has more to do with the whole "going out to lunch after church" aspect. The only reason I would go to church would be to hang out with people I already know. Though I know, once we start having kids, church will be more important. That thought kind of scares me.

I don't think I'll be an over protective mother. I'll let them run around and play in the dirt. I know they need to experience the hurt, as well as the joys of childhood friendships. The smaller hurts we experience as children - both physical and emotional - prepare us for the bigger hurts of adult life. I can foresee being over protective in one area though - the church. I don't want to see my children be hurt, and even attacked, the way I and other people in my family have been. I realize that no church is perfect, and that they'll be some sort of trouble now and then where ever you go. But the things that have happened to me and my family have made me distrustful of every greeting face - wondering at what point the knife will once again slip between my shoulder blades. Ok, ok. A little dramatic there, but the phrase popped into my head and I couldn't pass up the chance to use it ;-) Seriously though. I've gone to leaders to ask for mentoring and have been met with hostility and exclusion. It frightens me to put a child into that community.

At the same time, so much of church seems so shallow - so focused on "the warm fuzzies." I'm not some hard core holy. I tend to be fairly light hearted. But I'm not sappy. I hate "camp highs." Most worship songs ring hollow in their meaningless repetition. It's been a LONG time since I've heard a sermon that was more than sugar and whipped cream. I want my children to really learn - not to have candy shoved down their throats to keep them quiet. I mean that both physically and spiritually - I've seen it done both ways.

I know that I need to work through a lot of this before we have children. I need to be able to go to church with out my stomach being in knots the whole time. If I can't be a part of a church community, I don't know how I could expect my children to be. And I don't want to deprive my children of something they need just because I've been hurt. But I'm really not sure where to even start.

So this was another Sunday I didn't spend in church.

Of cats and things

2008-09-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,417122,00.html

Don't mess with Texas. Or it's moms. Seriously... Texan + Mom = NOTHING YOU WANT TO MESS WITH. Being raised by a Texan mother, I know ;-)

So, all this hate towards Palin makes me think that ::sing-songy voice:: soooomebody's afraaaaaid... I don't normally go around stating my political views - I'm not a big fan of arguing, and I know I have friends who believe differently, and I don't want to cause rifts or anything. But I'll say one thing: I'm a proud supporter of the McCain/Palin ticket. And that's all I'll say.

I actually have a weekend this weekend! ;-) I don't work Saturday or Sunday, and I only work till eight tonight. Pretty exciting.

I'm trying to figure out if I'm hungry or not... erm, not.

Did I already post about last weekend's Rock Band session of death? I don't think so... and I'm too lazy to go check. Anyway, Dave, Josh, Erin and I decided to go for the Endless Set of 58 songs. We didn't start til 9:30 or 10, due to the fact that I worked til eight that night (Friday night) Anyway, we did pretty well (all of us on hard, except Erin cause she hadn't played in a long time) But when it got to 54 songs and 3:30, we all just kind of crashed. There was simpley no going on. So we paused the game, said a prayer that there would be no power failures, and made plans to meet the next day.

Well, nothing dramatic happened. We did meet the next day, played the last four songs, and BEAT THAT THING. Yay for us. Yay for a nerdy weekend. (But definitely not as nerdy as SOME people's weekend...)

The other day Reggie just about figured out how to open the sliding screen door. As Dave put it "He figured out he could claw the screen, and then he figured out that what he could claw, he could climb." And of course he put it together that "When Papa opens the door, he pushes that handle thing up there..." So the little monkey cat climbs up to the level of the handle and starts tapping it. Dave says that if he (Dave) hadn't been there, he (Reggie) would have gotten out. Also, last night Bertie sent Uncle Schmorgan an IM. Possibly telling him "Good luck with killing that dragon," we don't know - it was in cat type. Or something.

So far today they have limmited themselves with trying to explore the kitchen counter - which, of course, they are not allowed on. I have no doubt that later today they will try to take apart and then put together again my computer. "If only we had opposable thumbs, the world would be ours!" they cry.

Yes, my cats are my children. No, I don't care if you make fun of me.

Now, off to do other things.

Oh oh! P.S.!!!! I got a new epilator!!! (My last one broke - Becky was here for that emotional break down) I am so very happy. Seriously - epilating CHANGED MY LIFE. And I'm not exagerating.

Well if he's YOUR grandfather, who knows? AH HA. - Ringo Star

2008-08-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

I have mushrooms. I have onion. I have cream. I think tomorrow I shall make mushroom soup. I'm a big fan of mushroom soup.

We watched a couple of episodes of Weeds, and it was really funny, and I thought we'd found a new show to get into. But it turned out to be pretty "raunchy" as Dave puts it. Not sure I like it any more.

Well, our trip to New York did not work out. But since I already had work off, we headed down to San Antonio. It was really good we got to do that, because Harry left this last Sunday to go to Korea for a semester, and I was glad we go to see him before he left. Geoff and Josh (trying to call them by their "grown up" names) came for the weekend, and they and Dave headed down to the river walk for a guys night. Apparantly they pushed an innocent bystander into the river. Whether it was REALLY an accident, we can never know.

I participated in several events in the first Waitz/Sherwood Oplympics. I gave a speech on Warp Drive and participated in all the water events. I also flipped Suzanne off, which I still don't feel very good about. Though I still laugh when I think about it...

We also got to introduce our "boys" to their extended family ;-) They were loved by all, except Llyan. But by the end her freaked-out terror had turned to grumpy annoyance. Progress!

We went to see Tropic Thunder with Geoff and Josh. Probably not everyone's cup of tea, but I quite liked it. I would most definitely see it again.

This past weekend we went out to lunch, then hung out with a couple friends from school who live more in the Ft. Worth area (I think.) We met up with the group for dinner and "Willow," which was a bit cheesier and freakier than I remember - but definitely fun to watch with people. Dave, Josh, and I played Rock Band (got into the hall of fame ;-) ) and watched First Contact (Dave's first Star Trek movie!)

I read "Wicked," which was a bit different than I was expecting. I liked it for the most part, though some of the weird sex stuff I could DEFINITELY have down with out :-P Apparantly it's quite different from the musical version. Anyone else read it? Thoughts?

Shall I take back everything I've ever said
(Shall I take back all my attacks? All of my accusations?)
And live my whole life in silence instead?
(All my mistrust - we never discussed anyone's reservations)

Shall I take back everything I've ever said
(Maybe you're right, Maybe you're right, Maybe you're right, But I don't think so)
And live my whole life in silence instead?
(Maybe you're right, Maybe you're right, Maybe you're right, But I don't think so)

Whenver I hear this song I think it can apply to situations that have occured at different times in my life. Sadly, I don't know that that's ever the case. I spent most of my life not saying anything when I should have. How can I take back what wasn't said? It's funny how BNL songs just feel like they belong to you. I guess they're good at creating feelings or musings or whatever.

I wonder why it's hard for me to let some things go. It's always the things that shouldn't matter - well, mostly they shouldn't. Tifts among friends I get over reeeeally quickly. I don't like arguing and I don't like being mad. I even have a friendship that's gone through quite a big rift - though the mending of that was certainly a group effort, I really can't take credit. Still - I usually don't hang on to things long at all. But once something makes me bitter, it's SO hard to let go. And it almost always inolves people who I really shouldn't care what they think. I just had a thought. I think it's the times where I didn't come out on top. It's the times where I didn't say all the things I wanted to say. Or the things I look back and realized I should have said. I hate looking back and seeing what a doormat I was. Why didn't I stand up for myself? Why didn't I see I was being used and manipulated? Oh well. There's REALLY nothing to be done about it now. I DON'T want it to have a hold on me - it's so not worth it. Something to work on I guess.

I'm excited about fall. Fall smelling candles, sweaters (though finding a sweater that doesn't make me look like a bloated whale is certainly a challange,) and cold weather food. I'm definitely better at cooking cold weather food. Soups, pastas, stews, crock pot meals, all that sort of stuff. I really love making at eating soups. Soup soup soup.

Mushroom soup tomorrow. I'm excited already.

P.S. I like being nerdy.
P.S.S. I wish I had a job where I could wear fun clothes more indicative of my moods and nature.
P.S.S.S. Shu-lee you cannot be oblivious to the nay-cha of my feelings? (Probably Annie is the only one who will get that...)
P.S.S.S.S. You will eat your NICE BOILED EGG!!! (I know she's the only one who will get that...)
P.S.S.S.S.S. The police shall recieve NO SANDWHICHES!!!! (Dave will get that one)
P.S.S.S.S.S.S. I'm done now.
P.S.S.S.S.S.S.S. Really.

It was the pillows last night

2008-08-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

I dreamed about pillows.

La la la la, life goes on

2008-08-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

X-Files:

Mulder: ::touches some slimey stuff with fingers:: Scully, what is this stuff?
Scully: ::smells it:: Mulder, I think... I think it's bile.
Mulder: Quickly, how can I get it off without betraying my cool exterior?!

Me and Dave:

Dave: ::steps in some slimey stuff:: Uh, Karen, what is this stuff?
Karen: ::smells it:: Dave... I think it's bile.
Dave: Ok, I'm gonna go wash my foot RIGHT NOW.

Last night I dreamed about wicker furnature and candles.

I liked it

2008-07-28T11:34:00.000-07:00

By the way, we saw The Dark Knight for Dave's birthday too. I don't often review or discuss movies on my blog because 1. People have such differing opinions on movies that I find it hard to recomend or condem a movie to just everyone in general and 2. Cause they're a lot more fun to talk about in person.

I make an exception here because I've heard from a few of people (both in person and through internet publications) that they really hated the movie - which actually surprised me. Again, movies affect people in very different ways. I, personally, thought that this Joker is one of the greatest villains created in film. His complete lack of morals - not just a perpensity towards bad, but an utter lack of any sort of concept of good or bad, and his disregard for his own life made him completely unpredictable. His extreme intellegence was combined with either a neat to create false stories about how his disfigurement came about or a lack of true memory a a subconciousness that created false stories for him. Either way takes his insanity further down. His logic is something completely outside our own, making him almost impossible to understand, and thus almost impossible to predict or manipulate. He was thwarted by the unpredictability and "illogic" of two groups of humans. To me, their behaviour was almost more unrealistic than that of the Joker himself.

An increadible acting job, by the way. Good acting through-out the film, by all. (By the way, did you realize that Gordon is Serius Black? I totally didn't till I saw the name)

This movie is so far from the cartoonish and freakish films of the late 80s and 90s. It was very well crafted. It was frightening in its exploration of how dark we can fall - of how very close to insanity we may lie. What would we do if we lost everything we cared about? I thought it was a fantastic movie, and I'm sure I'll think of more to say about it as soon as I post this, but I think this is enough for now. I'd welcome comments about the film - I'm curious about other view points.

"I love arachanids"

2008-07-26T22:35:00.000-07:00

Quote from Discovery channel comercial that was playing. I like that comercial. I'm not sure if that's how you spell "arachanid" but that's how he pronounced it.

Do you ever notice how close you might be considered to crazy, and then realize it's probably normal to be that close to crazy?

Tonight I was wandering through Barns & Noble looking for Dave. I was muttering to myself about the places he might be "No, no, not in music... Religion, maybe... nope..." (of course this was in a British accent - I'll explain later) A nice lady said "Can I help you find something?" As I smiled and said "No thank you!" the above musing lightly pranced through my head, tweaking my "I wonder what that lady must have thought of me..." synapsis. Ok, so I don't remember what a synapsis is. Ok, so I don't remember how to spell it either.

When Dave was gone on business, I realized once again that I was never, ever meant to live alone. I actually was not as lonely as I thought I'd be (though I missed him more than I thought I might,) but I did discover once again just how much I talk to myself when there's no one else to talk to. And for as long as I can remember, the voices of my subconcious have spoken in various British and Scottish accents. I promise I do not do it on purpose. Often I don't realize I'm doing it until a Barns & Noble lady says "Can I help you find something?" Or Dave starts laughing. But that's when I talk to him in an accent, not myself. So that's a little different. But I still don't always realize it. I blame my parents, who watched quite a bit of British tv while we were growing up (mostly murder mysteries, which is why I also find a nice Agatha Christie murder a soothing read.)

A couple of days ago I took away from my cats a Letu bag I got from work (telecounseling.) I hid it. Bertie just dragged it up to me, as if to say "Didn't do a very good job, did you?" then dragged it off again as his rightful prey. Oh. He's brought it back again, and exhibits a ceaseless amazement that when the string remains in his mouth, the bag follows. I'm beginning to think the string was all he was after, as he is now trying to run away from the bag. Poor thing, the bag's still in hot pursuit... It's ok, he called reinforcements, and the bag is now properly subdued. Aparantly they think they deserve some nice canned food for this particular feat. Not happening cats. Not happening.

I sent out one of those personal survey things this evening, and am quite delighted that people are actually sending back answers. I really enjoy finding out little tid bits like that.

The bag is DEAD cats, it's DEAD!

Annie and Paul came to visit this weekend, which was really a lot of fun. It was really nice to have some family come see our place and meet our "kids." Plus, I always like hanging out with Annie :-) (Ok, Paul too ;-) )

The sock is dead too cat... I promise, it really can't hear you growling... oh nevermind...

It was nice to have "grown-up time" as my Mom put it. It's kind of funny when you're old enough to have siblings and their spouses coming to visit from out of town. We had a lot of fun hanging out. We went out to eat, sat around and chatted, Dave and Paul watched plane crashes, and Annie and I watched Disney channel ;-)

Sunday we celebrated Dave's birthday by hanging out with friends. They very sweetly treated us to dinner as well. I really love being in a group of friends - good friends. We have fun memories together, and have even more fun making new memories. I know, SO halmark card. But it's true. I missed these people (among others, I haven't forgotten you!) and it's great to hang out again on a regular basis. Thanks friends! (And L&E, I am really sorry about missing the movie with you guys tonight - thought it's probably just as well, cause I'm feeling sicky now too :-P)

Yeah, actually. I'm going to try to rest and not get sick. Not getting sick is generally a good thing. Though I'm sure there are rare occasions where being sick might help.

If you believe it, I'm pretty sure that I love Dave more now than I did on our second anniversary. Convenient, as we're planning on keeping this arrangement for quite some time.

Crepes. Mmm.

2008-07-09T21:17:00.001-07:00

I just made crepes for the first time. It may sound kind of vain, but I thought they were pretty darn yummy. I used this recipe: http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_17312,00.html
(Just the plain version.) Then I put a little blackberry jelly in the middle, folded them in thirds, and served them dusted with powdered sugar. Quite tasty. Tomorrow I may try some sort of savory filling. I really really like crepes. Both making them and eating them ;-)

In other news, I GOT A JOB!!! After all that agony in Georgia, the first place I apply here I get hired. And it's Pier 1! I'm pretty excited. The people there are all really nice. I'm just so glad to have a job again and be making some money! I don't know that any job will be quite as fun as Telecounseling at Letu (a big part of that was the people I got to work with - and the terrible/funny quotes that happened) but this sounds like a pretty darn good one. And pretty well suited to my strengths and personality. But yes, I HAVE A JOB!!!! Yay.

Also, Luke and Erin's wedding was fantabulous. And she played the macarana, even though it had seemed her heart was stone when it came to my pleas for that particular song. That was fun. The dancing, not the pleading.

Dave and I had a really great anniversary. Our honeymoon was spent on South Padre, and our first anniversary was spent on the coast in Maine, so we went out for seafood for dinner :-D We each got tuna steaks, and both discovered a new culinary delight. I think we may have to try our hand at those sometime. After dinner we went and saw "Get Smart," which we really enjoyed. Funny movie. I liked it a lot. Later on we went for ice cream. Yum. So yes, good second anniversary.

And crepes. Mmm.

"We don't need no education"

2008-07-02T15:17:00.001-07:00

But group presentations sure gave my life meaning.

No seriously - I loved those.

I slammed my hand in the door yesterday. It hurt a lot. I cried while at the same time laughing, because while it hurt like the dickons, it was kind of funny too. It still hurts today. Well, mostly just the one finger hurts. I would show you which one, but that would be rude.

On the up side, woke up at 11 today. Hooray for waking up in the am. I may have fallen away a little during school, but I'm with out a doubt a child of the day. My spirit rises and sets with the sun.

I really would like to be on a beach. A good one.

So, you know how water nymphs and sea maidens are portraid with blonde hair? Why is that? What about water is blonde or yellow? Maybe the sun glinting of the waves, but that's more of a slivery type colour. ANYway. Brown hair makes much more sense. Seaweed is brown. Palm tree trunks are brown. As are the trunks of the trees by the river bank, but right now I'm more into the beachy scene. Well, I pretty much always love the beach. Anyhow. I think it's bogus that all water-people have blonde hair. So THERE. Brown hair is the best.

Something you may not know about me: My hair looks red underwater. What could be more like a water-person than to have hair that changes colour IN the water. Plus, there's red seaweed too.

Anyway, I like water. And beaches.

WATER!!!!!

"I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain,

2008-07-01T22:22:00.000-07:00

to see for certain
what I thought I knew
....
The world and I
We are still waiting
Still hesitating
Any dream will do."

So this is a very interesting time. Sometimes I look around and still can't believe that we're actually here. It's so beautiful here - and we're in such a great area. I love our appartment, I love our cats, and I love being around people again! I feel like I'm having to get used to actually living again. I kind of feel like I'm having to learn some things over again. Which is not so bad.

Another good thing is that the "curse" of nobody taking any interest in hiring me what so ever has been lifted. I actually have an interview this week! Actually. Have. An interview. Somebody actually wants to talk to me. I mean, I know that I'm a good employee and that I'm worth hiring (at least for some jobs) but the time in Georgia really shook my faith in the fact that I could actually be good for anything (at least job-wise) :-P I still can't believe that I actually have an interview.

There are still a few things kind of stressing me right now. I sort of feel like I have no right to be stressed - everything is so much better I feel like it's down right ungrateful to be stressed. I have to tell myself that it's ok though - we are just starting up our own business. A LOT of things are up in the air right now. Everything is looking good - really good. But still, I think it's natural to be a little bit stressed-ish at this point. Even with the stress though, everything really is so much better. It's kind of like there was this huge, wet, heavey blanket (or like, five or ten such blankets) over me for the last (not quite) year. Now it's lifted off, and I'm kind of in a daze.

Last night we had Schmorgan, Ludwhig and Candace (Ludwhig's sister) over for dinner and a movie. A few hours later we headed down to IHOP. It had been a very long time since I'd been at IHOP with a group of friends ;-) It was a lot of fun. However, I didn't end up going to bed til 4 (which meant going to sleep around 4:30, cause I have to read before bed ;-) ) So, definitely didn't wake up til after 2. So... I've felt pretty strange all day. Still feeling kind of weird. I kind of want to go to bed, but I'm afraid that if I do I won't be able to sleep... cause I haven't even been awake 12 hours. Haha. Still - out of all the reasons to get to bed so late, hanging out with friends is definitely a good one. Just wish I didn't feel like a zombie ;-)

And of course, the great Luke and Erin wedding is taking place this weekend, which is quite exciting. It's really cool to see an artist creating her own wedding. I may not be very artistic myself, but I can appreciate it when I see it ;-) It's exciting that so many people are coming into town too. I'm really glad we're settled in here for all of this. I'm also glad I got to be here for a few weeks before hand so I got a chance to get to know Erin better. We may not see eye to eye on Will Ferril movies, but I know we can make it past that ;-)

Aaaaand, perhaps the thing I'm most excited about is the fact that it's our aniversary in a week!! I would say "I can't believe it's been two years!" but our last anniversary seems quite a while ago. Time in Georgia went very slowly. Very slowly. Haha. So yes, I feel that it's about time another anniversary rolled around! I don't think we'll do anything very big, but it'll be fun to celebrate. Anyway, it would be kind of hard to top the lobster massacre of our first anniversary... haha.

All in all, it's been a pretty amazing time here thus far. (Of course, not forgetting that I got to go to San Antonio, see my family, hang out with friends, and of course, see Audrey and Jason get married! :-D) I'm not sure why I decided to write this blog while feeling like a zombie... but oh well. Better zombie-fied than never.

I kind of hope I'm not getting sick... Well, actually, I for sure hope I'm not getting sick. But I only kind of think I might be. Anyway, it would just be pretty much the worst time EVER to get sick with interviews, and weddings, and anniversaries... So I hope I'm not. Probably take some nyquill stuff... That is all.

A little something you may not know about me

2008-06-25T21:13:00.000-07:00

For those of you who thought I was snobby, stand-off-ish, or a man-hater, this used to be my life:

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder

It's kind of scary how horribly familiar most of that is. I was on a volleyball team when I was in junior high. Pretty much everyone on the team hated me because I never hit the ball. It could come straight at me, but the only way I'd move would be to slightly dodge - just enough so it wouldn't hit me. Why? I couldn't bear the thought of people judging my poor volleyball skills. I endured the anger of my peers because the fear of them judging me - of looking clumsy or foolish - was so much worse.

As socially... different (haha) as Letu can be sometimes, it really worked miracles for me. I can't put my finger on all the wheres hows or whys of my victory over this, but I know there were quite a few whos who made a huge difference. There are many people I really owe a lot to. Thanks :-)

You know what's funny? I think the thing that really pushed me over "the edge" (the good edge, the one that brings you from "scared of people judging me" land to normal land) was the nanny incident. I realized that I was being treated poorly, and that I was doing a really good job and did not deserve at ALL to be treated like that. I finally learned to really take a stand for myself - to not care what people were thinking, because they were WRONG. I guess sometimes these lousy situations we get into really do have good things that come from them.

Anyway, thanks again to the many friends who lead me back to the light. Because of you, and of course, because of God (who IS the light, donchya know) I now have an amazing life - one where I'm not afraid to smile or laugh out loud :-)

"I look handsome, I look smart

2008-06-07T20:38:00.000-07:00

I am a walking work of art!"

We live in Texas!!! We've been here a whole week now. And all of our stuff finally arrived today, so no more eating standing up and sleeping on an air mattress ;-)

I think Dave summed it up well when he said "Easiest transition I ever made." We both agree this already feels more like home than our last place ever did. They don't call this God's Country for nothing, no sir. We've had Whataburger three times already, just like good Texans.

We're pretty much in an ideal area. Our apartment complex is literally in an out door mall area. We can walk to pretty much all of our favorite places, and the ones that aren't right in the mall are just down the road. There's a Super Target (one of the down the road places) which I am just ecstatic about. Pretty sure we've already been there about three or four times. In our mall area there's a Barns & Noble, a New York & Company, Bath & Bodyworks, Yankee Candle, Pier 1, Circuit City (Best Buy is another "just down the road" one,) Macy's, and a bazillion other places (I really have not explored much yet.) Oh, and lots of food places too, including a sub shop, a sushi place, Sonic, and TGI Friday's (all of which we have discounts too, because of this nifty card we got for moving in here.) And, just down the road (of course) are an Olive Garden, On the Border, and Texas Roadhouse. Seriously? No, seriously?? The first few days here I would turn to Dave in a daze and ask "Is this true? Do we really live here?"

It's not just the places either. Nope, that's not even the half of it. The atmosphere here has lifted my spirits incredibly. I meet people in the hall or getting off the elevator, and they smile, they say hi, sometimes... they even ask how I am. Who knew the world could be such a bright, welcoming place? There's really a family atmosphere here too, which I really appreciate. I'm not so much of a night-life type, and it does me ol' heart good seeing the little tykes playing in the creek in the mall courtyard (yes, yes, we have a creek - with a little foot bridge and everything ;-) All small and man-made, but still pretty nifty.)

And (yes, there's more) if you drive just a minute or two, BAM! Cows! Goats! Open fields, trees, the free Texas air... beautiful. Driving at night with the windows down, the fresh Texas air, the bright Texas stars... I know I'm home again.

Lastly, but so far from leastly, are the people. I've so missed having a circle of friends. It's been so fun to hang out with friends from school again, and I've loved getting to know Erin more. Last night we went mini-golfing with Schmorgan, Bubbles, Erin, and Erin's roommate Christina. I don't know when the last time I went mini-golfing was, and I had a blast. Not really cause of the mini-golf (not that I don't like mini-golf) but because we were with a group of friends. And guess what? Tomorrow we get to hang out with Spork, Sydney, and perhaps Schmorgan again too. That's right. MORE friends. Does the friendness ever end? I sure hope not.

Oh goodness, I almost forgot to mention the apartment itself! It's AH-mazing. It's a lot more space than our old place, but it flows together much more seamlessly. And we have a bedroom door that shuts ;-) Oh yeah, and hardwood floors and granite counter tops. No seriously. I regularly walk into the living room and just stand there admiring things. We even have a guest room. We turned the dining room into the study (cause we'd never use a dining room) and we turned the study into a guest bedroom. How cool are we?

Well, that's probably enough excited babbling for now. I'm sleeeeepy, and quite excited about sleeping in a real bed again. Goodnight, goodnight all you world, from a very contented Texan.

P.S. Did I mention we have a bathroom and a half?
P.S.S. Target has packaged gnocchi and some awesome jarred sauces. Guess what our first stove cooked dinner in our new place was? Mmmmm...

Did you know...

2008-05-21T16:36:00.000-07:00

L.M. Montgomery clipped a photo from a magazine to use as a model for her character "Anne Shirley"?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne_of_green_gables

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Nesbit

http://evelynnesbit.com/

Apparantly physical apperance is about all Anne and Evelyn had in common. It seems that Evelyn is rather infamous. (She's so famous, she's INfamous! Sorry, couldn't help it...)

It's cool to see a picture, though, and think "Oh, that's what she meant Anne to look like..." I'll probably still imagine Anne my own way, but definitely still cool to see the pictures.

"On second thought, gum would be perfection."

2008-05-19T11:07:00.000-07:00

Well, things are pretty much all set now. We have our two kittens (yay!!!) and the movers are coming the 30th. I can't believe it's less than two weeks! We still have quite a bit of packing to do, but I'm sure anyone who knows me already knew that ;-) Well, at least anyone who's ever lived with me (and had to watch me frantically move out.) I'm really trying to be organized and on top of things this time. I have my moving notebook, and it's already got lists in it. Lists!! Really! Speaking of, I need to add "trash bags" to the list of things we should have with us for the new apartment...

So, our kittens are wonderful. Their names are Bertie (after Bertie Wooster) and Reggie (after Reginald Jeeves.) They've already brightened our lives up quite a bit. They're extremely playful and sure make things fun. But they're not above cuddling up to us on the couch and sleeping next to us at night. And they purr something fierce. They're a little mischievous, but very good natured, and well behaved (for the most part ;-) ) I'll put pictures up on facebook sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, but with all the craziness (and my personal laziness ;-) ) who knows? Anyway, I'm really glad we got the both of them. They have distinctive personalities, and we're having a lot of fun getting to know them. And of course, they have tons of fun playing together and chasing each other around the apartment.

So, I made up a new salad the other night. Dave made potstickers (he makes REALLY good potstickers) and I decided to try making some sort of oriental-ish salad. So here's what I did (cause it was really really good):

I heated some oil up in a pan (a bit more than I might usually use to saute stuff, cause it's the basis for the dressingness)
I then tossed in sunflower seeds (shell-less) dried coconut shreds, and orange flavored dried cranberries
While those cooked away I added powdered ginger, powdered mustard, salt, and some honey
Then I added chopped green onions
Then some shredded carrot
Right at the end I added some chopped yellow bell pepper

Then, I dumped the whole thing over a bowl of lettuce (I think it was redleaf or something) and tossed. Pretty yummy stuff.

Tonight I'm making my chili. It involves four peppers: two fresh, one roasted (by me, not from a jar) and one dried. Makes me feel all cool using four peppers prepared three ways. Plus I just love chili, both the making and the eating of it.

And wow, how about this summer movie-wise?? Have not seen a summer like this in a LONG time. Indiana Jones, Narnia, X-Files, M. Night Shyamalan, Batman, Get Smart, and probably some I've forgotten. I love going to the movies, and I love that there are going to be so many good movies to go to! And I also love that we're moving somewhere that has a movie theater within walking distance ;-)

Well, that's pretty much all for now. BYE.

Texas > Georgia.... actually, Texas > any other state

2008-05-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=250056

A small jab at Decatur, GA. Ha. Stupid town, obsessed with it's own "hip-ness." I cannot WAIT to get back to a place where I don't feel like everyone I see completely loathes me just for existing. Texas really is the best place to live. SOOOOO looking forward to being back there. And moving to a place where we already have so many good friends is quite exciting :-) I'M COMING SYDNEY!!!!! ;-)

We have an apartment! Yay! :-D

I'm finding it a little hard to focus here. The thought of being back in Texas is so exciting, but at the same time knowing it's so close makes me miss people even more. Are we there yet?

I know that Nicholson was just a cat, and I know that losing him can't compare to what some people have lost, but I still miss him. It feels so much lonelier here. It's been hard cleaning up and organzing things to get ready to pack. I cried when we had to throw out his litter box and his scratching post. I keep finding things of his. A piece of food, one of the mini-marshmallows he loved playing with, and his hair is still everywhere. It seems silly to be so upset over a cat. But if you know me, you know how important animals are to me - especially my animals. And he meant more to me than any animal had before. He was ours. He was our first living thing that was ours - mine and Dave's. He was ours from the first time we saw him in the shelter. We used to stand face to face, hugging each other, and Nicholson would sit suspended between the two of us. It doesn't seem quite fair that he had to go so soon. He was such a sweet thing. But I'm still so grateful for the time we had with him.

Our apartment is too quiet, and we knew we couldn't be without a cat for too long. No one could ever take Nicholson's place, but I think we're the kind of people who are meant to have animals. We've found a couple little boy kittens (brothers) that we've fallen in love with, and they'll be coming home with us in a week or two. Like Nicholson, I think they're meant to be ours.

Whataburger. That's another thing about Texas I really miss.

Oh, cool story from Florida that I forgot to tell earlier - ok, so not exactly a cool story... more just something funny we did. We went to a movie with Bethany, Mikaela, and a couple of their friends. Dave and Bethany and I hadn't had supper, so we stopped at subway and got three of their five dollar foot longs (which have very, very strange comericals.) Anyway, we managed to fit them all inside my purse (without the purse looking conspicuous) and snuck them into the theater and ate them during the movie. Tee hee. Told you it was funny. We saw Baby Mama, which was also quite funny.

TEXAS!!! FRIENDS!!! FAMILY!!! SOOOOOOOON!!!! (though not quite soon enough, in my opinion... cause like, soon enough would be... tomorrow pretty much. But, I couldn't pack that fast. And we wouldn't have our kittens by then. So, I guess waiting a little while is ok... haha ;-) )

It says "Keds"...

2008-05-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

There are a couple of reasons you should watch this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iUDHL5slSM

One, if you like weird but awesome musicals from the seventies

or Two, if you're a fan of Alias or Eli Stone

All I'll say is: Watch the guy with the afro and the rainbow pants. Look familiar?

Hot pink lip gloss = Fun!

2008-05-05T14:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was epilating my legs (for those of you who don't remember, an epilator is a small electronic device similar to an electric razor, but instead of razor blades the head contains many little tweezer heads that rip, not cut, the hair from your body) and I happened to glance down at my arm. Every so often my arm hair starts to annoy me, and I wax my arms. It had been bothering me again recently, and I had been planning on waxing soon, but then I thought of the spinning tweezer heads in my hand. I tried a little spot where a lack of hair wouldn't look conspicuous and thought "Hmm, that doesn't really hurt..." So, I took a deep breath, lifted the whirring device, and brought it down in a smooth stroke beginning at my wrist.

Oh. The pain. Pain like I cannot even describe. But I couldn't stop with a bare spot on one arm, so I had to go through with it. You'd think the second arm would be better, but it wasn't. It hurt more and took longer. It was worth it though. My arms feel so pretty...

I still haven't decided what to pain my toenails... And I'm sorry Aduma, I'm not really on board with the whole "grey" idea. I don't want it to look like my toes have died or something. Right now my options are bright blue, hot pink, or sparkley orange. I think right now I'm leaning towards orange.

This will be the first summer in a looooong time that my hair will be long. Oddly enough, I don't have my usual urge to chop it all off. I think it's because I've finally conditioned my head to be able to stand a ponytail. I have a LOT of hair, and ponytails can get pretty heavy. But, I can finally stand them! So, that makes a big difference when hair gets hot or annoying.

Really good drink - iced coffee with a shot of hazelnut and a little cream.

So right now our favorite fall back healthy meal is in the oven. A fillet of salmon, asparagass, and grape tomatos seasoned with a little salt and pepper and doused with fresh lemon juice a little olive oil and a dash of white wine sealed in a packet of foil or parchment paper. So. Good. So easy. So does not feel like you've just eaten a brick (like fast food or frozen pizzas sometimes do... ;-) ) Mmmmm.

We went in a Yankee Candle the other day. Yankee Candle is just awesome. Their candles NEVER smell like medicine. And I love love love love the summer smells. One of my favorites is the new "Sun & Sand" one. Smell it. SMELL IT. It is the beach... ::sigh:: We got a three pack of car fresheners: Ocean Water, Sun & Sand, and Coconut Bay. All so good. I want to work at Yankee Candle and get a million candles in those scents and have them ALL OVER our new appartment.

Yeah, when we all die if you want to find me in heaven, just look for the tropical beach area.

Shiffiful!

2008-05-02T22:26:00.001-07:00

Does ANYone else watch the show 30 Rock? I mean, I know there are other people who watch it, but does anyone I KNOW watch it? I love that show. It's absolutely hilarious, and I wish there were more people (that I know) who understood that :-P

I still miss Nicholson.

Dave and I went to Florida for Bethany's graduation. It was a lot of fun. I hadn't seen her family in almost five years, and it was cool for Dave to meet them and visa versa. It was also really good for Dave and I to just get away for a little while. It has been one of the weirdest years of my life - I'm thinking probably of his too - with some drastic ups and downs (thankfully the ups are seemingly more prevailent right now.) It was really nice to be able to get away from all the craziness and just chill out. Oh yeah, and I guess getting to hang out with Bethany was pretty cool too ;-)

Dave and Bethany and I went to the beach on Monday. We were very good about applying sunscreen. The sunscreen was not very good about protecting us :-P We all got some rather painful burnage, though I think for once I was the least burned of everyone (really, I think that's the first time in my life I've been able to say that.) Dave, being from up north and being a natural tanner, had never been seriously burned before. He did not enjoy the experience. I drove the whole way home, which I really didn't mind except for when the sun came beating down through the car window onto my poor little sunburnt arm. Rather uncomfortable, what? Anyway, we're mostly recovered by now.

We also saw "Baby Mama" while we were in Florida. "Good movie, good movie!!" (that was for you Jeanette.) Seriously, I really liked that movie. Seriously.

I need to repaint my toenails. ::looks critically at her toes:: But what colour...

OH! At Bethany's graduation party there was homemade mexican food. Oh. My. Gosh. I was a happy camper that day, oh yes I was. Mostly cause I was really happy for Bethany and very proud of my friend, but the homemade mexican food did not hurt the mood, oh no it did not.

Now I shall go to bed.

Haha

2008-04-30T13:40:00.000-07:00

Yeah. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds that phrase REALLY creepy sounding. Blech.

Actually, that whole website is pretty funny. And yes, it is an intentional "rip off" of Stuff White People Like (also funny.)

Goodbye

2008-04-22T08:31:00.000-07:00

Trying to make it in a strange place, it was the three of us against the world. He came to us during the hardest time we'd been through. He changed our lives more than we ever expected. His spirit was the deepest I'd ever known in an animal, but sadly his body was not so strong.

It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It's been the most I've ever hurt.

He was our first "baby." No one could ever take his place or make us forget him. When he looked into my eyes, he saw all the way inside of me. Part of me went into him when he looked at me like that, and he took it with him when he left. Our place seems empty now, this whole little section of the world seems more forgien than ever. But it's getting to the point where I can remember him happily - I don't cry every time I think of him now. I don't want to remember him with tears. He made us so happy, and that's how I want to remember him - his life was brief, but so full of meaning and love.

We love you always little buddy, our "fluffy little black and tan."

Nicholson
May 2007 - April 2008

No, I said 'ello!

2008-04-10T17:57:00.000-07:00

It's true, it's all true. I thought it would be funny to post that on April fools, just to mess with people a little. But it's all true.

I miss Texas SO much. I've actually been missing the Valley a bit lately. I'd love to get down there to visit again sometime. I miss San Antonio too - of course. Last time I was there I realized just how beautiful I find it there.

I always knew I loved Texas, always knew I loved the Valley and San Antonio, each in their own way (though they'll always seem connected to me) but I'm just starting to realize how different it is there. I've lived in the "south" for too long, and yes, Longview counts as "south" and not real Texas. I long for south/central Texas.

I do realize I'll be living in Dallas, and not the Valley or San Antonio, but I'm excited about it. For one, it's a lot closer to those places than Georgia is ;-) It'll also be cool to live in a more city like atmosphere (well, depending on where exactly we move to I guess... either way it'll be cool) And of course, there is the appeal of moving to a location that is also home to not a few friendly faces. I'm thinking it's gonna be pretty fun ;-)

I read "The Devil Wears Prada." Made me mad, SO MAD. And not at the evil boss lady (well, just a little at her maybe) but at the STUPID girl who let the evil boss lady walk all over her, who let the job so consume her that she cut herself off from family, friends, and anyone who might have needed her. I wanted to scream at her. Three weeks of being treated like dirt was all I could take. She put up with it for almost a year? Ridiculous. I think I need to stop reading books and watching movies where rich people treat their employees like they're something kind of less than human :-P

How much, HOW MUCH do I want to go ropa shopping and get El Pato's? So much my friend.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was on tv the other day - Dave and I watched all three (though not all at once, thanks to dvr.) I'd forgotten just how much I love those movies. I'd also forgotten just how much of the dialog I still knew... it was a little disturbing to me, and a little more disturbing to Dave. Actually, he laughed at most of my quoting along - except when I started quoting along with the Elvish... that one freaked him out a little.

Yes, there is no denying. I am still a nerd - will always be a nerd. And I like it.

I decided I'm going to practice Shakira dancing, because if that doesn't trim up my tummy, I really don't know what will.

Once again - the whole moving to Texas thing is real ::nods::

Today in the news...

2008-04-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

Dave quit school, we're starting a business with Erin (Fleetwood, soon to be Bender) and we're moving to Dallas (Texas) this summer.

Hooray!

Texas

2008-03-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

I've known it all my life: Texas is the best place to live. I just hope now that everyone else is realizing the fact it doesn't get too crowded...

Snow flakes and spring petals

2008-03-24T17:33:00.001-07:00

So. I kinda don't understand why everyone seems to treat Good Friday like it's the darkest day in human history. It's the day God showed his love for humanity by making an incredible sacrifice. I mean... that's a good thing, right? And it's not like he stayed dead, so there's really no need to mourn.

I also don't understand why everyone seems to feel guilty about the death on the cross - or at least feels like they should drive themselves into a depression in order to try and comprehend the suffering that Jesus went through. If you made a great sacrifice for someone, what would you rather 1. They come to you daily, crying and apologizing and saying "I'm trying so hard to understand how much you suffered" or 2. Someone coming in and saying "Thank you SO much for what you did, thanks to you I have an amazing life - let me tell you about the wonderful day I had"

I do realize that God suffered greatly to bring us this gift. I am EXTREMELY grateful that he did. I just don't know why it seems to so often be a sad thing.

In case you hadn't noticed, I've been questioning things a lot lately ;-) All part of growing I guess.

In other news, things have been kind of busy lately! Week before last Deena came to Atlanta again! :-D Her business trips always seem to be perfectly timed ;-) Deena, you are both fun and encouraging - I hope we get to hang out again soon!

Spork also came to visit that week, and the four of us (me, Dave, Deena, and Spork) went to the Busy Bee, an AMAZING soul food place. That food is good. Seriously good.

Dave, Spork and I also went to the Jimmy Carter museum here. Why? I'm not sure... I think my mind wandered when they were deciding what to do. It was actually pretty fun though. I like looking at things that express what a culture was thinking and feeling during a certain time. That's one reason I love old commercials. It was also funny how much nicer the guy at the front desk was once he realized we weren't just there to use the bathroom.

After dropping Spork off at the airport Friday morning we came back, packed, threw the cat and the fish in the car and set off for New York. It was a little after five Saturday morning when we got there. Ouch.

On the plus side, we found out that Nicholson is really good at car trips. He just sits in the lap of whoever's not driving (though he made it clear he'd actually prefer the driver's seat most of the time) and sleeps. We put his litter box in the trunk (it's basically a bin with a hole cut in the lid) and put down the back seat, allowing a passage way between trunk and cabin. When we stopped for gas or a meal we'd toss him in the litter box, and when we'd come back he'd be curled up in the driver's seat. Pretty funny.

He also loved hanging out with his "grandparents" and the nice heater they kept in the middle of their living room ;-)

We had a lot of fun hanging out with family and friends. It was really relaxing and encouraging. Sometimes it takes me a while to really, totally "be myself" around people, but it's pretty much gotten to that point in NY, for better or worse ;-) For example, I did accidentally tell Matt's younger siblings how to kill themselves... I seriously didn't mean to, I was just quoting a t-shirt. Don't quote t-shirts, it can get you in trouble. I have a very bad habit of teaching kids bad habits - or age inappropriate things. I don't do it on purpose, I'm not cruel, or vulgar, just... well the word "stupid" comes to mind ;-) Aaaanyway, regardless of my stupidity, New York was a lot of fun :-D

We spent most of yesterday driving, stayed over a night in NC, then got up early this morning (by early I mean a quarter of 8, which may not be that early for most, but is VERY early for me at this point in our lives ;-) ) and drove the rest of the way back. Dave made it in to work on time and even had a chance to come to the apartment and chill for a little first.

But good grief! I leave the north with it's chilly wind and snow flurries, and what do I find this afternoon in Decatur? Chilly winds and snow flurries! What, I ask you, the heck? Later, as we were getting supper, I noticed not snow, but softly falling flower petals. I find myself greatly anticipating the warm weather I know cannot be too far off.

Well, I'm tired. I'm gonna go be a zombie for a while. Bye.

Why cry about bad weather? Enjoy it!

2008-03-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

We watched Nanny Diaries the other night. Hit a little too close to home. Here's a piece of advice: Don't ever nanny. It's a strange, messed up world. You'll fall in love with the kid, the parents will turn out to be psychotic jerks, and it'll end up hurting a lot when you have to quit, or they fire you - thankfully I had the guts to quit before they could fire me. And one or the other will happen.

On the upside, NY has been a lot of fun. Strangely enough I'm actually really enjoying the snow and cold weather. Who'd a thunk? But don't worry - I still love the heat and humidity, just like a crazy woman.

I have a "Perfect Strangers" t-shirt in the mail, on it's way to me. I'm very excited. Seriously.

P.S. I found out tonight that Dave also grew up watching the Haley Mills movie "Castaway." We found out when we both started singing the song "Enjoy It!" (See post title - also, the word "enjoy" should be pronounced with a French accent.) I haven't ever run into anyone else who's heard of that movie, so it was pretty funny.

Of course, I forgot my coat

2008-03-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

So, we drove 17 hours straight to come to New York for spring break. (Don't people usually drive the OTHER direction for spring break? ;-) ) We had a cat and a fish with us. The fish just sat there. The cat just sat there too for the most part, he just shed barrels of fur while he did. Seriously though, for a cat to spend 17 straight hours in a car without trying to kill us - I think he's pretty good natured. Anyway, got here after five Saturday morning. Crazy.

Apparently we missed a small tornado in Atlanta. Oh well. I still have two San Antonio 100 year floods under my belt. And a brush or two with a hurricane maybe. Kinda sad I missed a down town tornado though, even a small one. Haha.

This is pretty adorable.

This is hilarious and/or depressing.

This is informative.

Sydney, someday (soon?) we'll go shopping for crazy jewelry together ;-)

Sweet and spicy

2008-03-07T13:35:00.001-08:00

A man who will dip-kiss you first thing in the morning - with your pre-washed-pre-made-up face and straggly hair - well, that's a man I'd like to have for my husband. Oh wait. That man is my husband ;-)

One of the first nights we were here in Decatur we ate at a Thai place downtown and I had a sweet and spicy coconut curry chicken. It was seriously one of my favorite things that I've ever had to eat. I've been craving it since then. The resturant's a little pricey, so we haven't been back. Especially since we found a cheap and delicious Thai place very near our apartment. The only thing they don't have is a sweet and spicy coconut curry chicken.

So I decided to make it. I've never made curry chicken before, so I looked up some recipes on foodnetwork.com. None of them were what I was looking for though. None of them had coconut or sweet. So I decided to wing it.

I tossed some raw, cut up chicken breast into a pot with olive oil and curry powder. I then added some red onion and salt and cooked for a little. Next came minced garlic and freshly grated ginger. Oh, and a few red pepper flakes. Then I dumped in a can of coconut milk (not water, not cream, milk - it can get confusing, I had to call my Mom from the grocery store.) Ok, I didn't dump it in all at once, but by the end it had all gone in. I squeezed in a few tablespoons of honey too. Or maybe more like a quarter cup... I really have no idea, I just kept adding it til it was as sweet as I wanted. Then I added some chopped poblano pepper and broke some fresh green beans into bite size pieces and added those. Right at the end I added a chopped avacado. (If ever making this again, at this point I will also add peanuts or cashews.)

We served it over some nice warm sticky rice. Why anyone would want the "fluffy rice that never sticks!" I have no idea. Sticky rice is the best.

I was quite suprised and pleased. For my first attempt at a recipe I had never tried and only tasted once more than seven months ago, it turned out quite well. Actually, I think it turned out pretty well anyway. In making it again I would add more salt to the chicken. The curry powder said it was "salted" so I was hesitant to add to much more. Also, like I said, I'd toss in some sort of nut (no not Dave.) But yes, I was quite excited. I'm also excited to experiment with different veggitation combinations (maybe a red bell pepper to contrast the green and yellow.)

Hooray for me! :-D

"One day, one night, one moment...

2008-03-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

...my dreams could be tomorrow

One step, one fall, one falter
East or west, over earth or by ocean
One way to be my journy
This way could be my book of days

No day, no night, no moment
Can hold me back from trying
I'll flag, I'll fall, I'll falter
I'll find my day may be
Far and away
Far and away

One day, one night, one moment
With a dream to believe in
One step, one fall, one falter
And a new earth across a wide ocean
This way became my journey
This day ends together
Far and away

This day ends together
Far and away
Far and away"

I always liked that song. I like it a lot.

Tonight I had rare beef soup.

Take out from our favorite Thai place. A big container of broth and a take out box of rice noodles, bean sprouts, onion, fresh herbs, lime, and spicey sauce which you add to your broth in whatever ammounts you want. Oh, and the beef part. Ultra thin slices of raw beef. Pour the broth over them and it gently cookes them. That is some of the yummiest (and funnest) soup I've ever had.

My finger nails are currently a bright sparkly orange. It's a lot more subtle than I would have thought. I like it.

I just finished reading the book "Relic." I really liked it. It was kind of cheesy, kind of predictable, extremely stereotypical in a lot of ways, but quite a fun thriller. At least, I thought so. I really go for that kind of books sometimes. The cheesy-but-still-fairly-well-written thrillers.

Also, Nicholson is pretty much a real at now. He runs around the house, play wrestles, and jumps out and me and everything. He's still cuddly though :-) Hooray for a healthy kitty!

I saw a film today, oh boy

2008-03-02T22:03:00.000-08:00

I tell you what happens when I'm not stressed out of my mind - my mind has leasure time to be wistful. I don't think it's bad, and I appreciate it a lot more now... it sure beats being stressed out of my mind.

It's been an intense few months. Well, more like six I guess. I can't even say how much better I feel now.

Have you ever been white water rafting? You're going along and all of a sudden you hit a bunch of rocks, and the river on either side is clear, but you're stuck trying to make your way through the rocks in the middle. Unpleasant. Finally you get out and settle down into that nice clear path and everything is just so much clearer and smooth. Sure, there are still rocks out there. But for now the going is pretty nice.

I. Miss. People. So. Much. I guess dorm life spoiled me. In jr. high/high school I was the shy outcast. But among my close friends I was cool - we were all cool to each other. And I had that group I belonged in. Then college, yeah. You could just wander around and find someone who wasn't working on homework and sit and chat. Or you could find the people wanting to get OUT of homework, and they were happy to chat too. Getting out of homework was usually what I was doing.

No, I'm not idealizing college and dorm life. There were some not so good times where I felt rather unwanted by some groups and individuals. I was acused of sulking, and even of kind of being a dictator I think... which I wouldn't have minded if I actually was a dictator. But I wasn't. At least at that point in time. As for the future... who can say?

But there are people I miss so much that my heart aches. And I miss, so so so miss, that community. I miss having a whole mess of good friends within walking distance. I miss you so much more than I can say.

Don't worry, I'm not wishing to go back to that time and place. That chapter has closed, and for good reason. Moving on is good and healthy. But that doesn't mean I don't miss people.

Guess that's what's been on my mind lately.

Sad

2008-02-28T22:41:00.000-08:00

http://toofatforfashion.blogspot.com/2008/02/forget-paris.html

Can't there be

2008-02-28T09:03:00.000-08:00

a happy medium between "if you're not suffering you're not a real Christian" and the "Prayer of Jabez" and other "pray to get rich quick" stuff?

Why do Christians have such a problem with moderation? It's gotta be one extreme or the other. Either the depths of despair or that camp high.

Moderation does not necessarily equal mediocrity. Most of the Christians I really respect are neither insanely wealthy, nor are they constantly suffering. Personally, I'd be ok with that in between as well.

In other news, I've discovered that I really like the way I look in spring green.

The important things in life

2008-02-27T13:24:00.000-08:00

Last night Dave started singing "A Little Priest" from "Sweeney Todd." He then stoped and said "We're showing that to our kids instead of "Marry Poppins."
"What?!" I ask.
"Well, it has a much better Cockney accent - that's what's important, right?"

Heehee.

Ewwwww

2008-02-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning my contact solution started running out. There wasn't much coming out, but I had enough to rinse my contacts. Last night I was using the last of it to fill up my contact cases. It was coming out in spurts, which seemed a little weird, but I figured it was just running out. I gave it a good squeeze to try and get the last of it out and out shot... a drowned ant. Out of my contact solution.

WHAT EVER YOU DO - KEEP THE LID ON YOUR CONTACT SOLUTION.

Some cats like catnip

2008-02-26T23:42:00.000-08:00

Nicholson likes fresh parmesan cheese.

Heehee

2008-02-20T23:38:00.000-08:00

http://www.latenightunderground.com/

We just submitted our idea.

Soup of the day

2008-02-19T17:21:00.000-08:00

We've been enjoying a lot of soups lately. One of Dave's favorites is a potato leek soup. It does have some heavy cream in it, but it's really pretty healthy.

One of my favorites is a chicken soup with tomato and zucchini. It's ridiculously easy. Of course, I halved the recipe since it's just the two of us. If I want to spice it up, I add some red pepper flakes and some sliced hot Italian (turkey) sausage. Also a very healthy meal, and a little more hearty than the previous recipe.

I've also made a couple of my own recipes, including a broccoli cheese soup. Sweat some chopped onion in butter (with salt, don't forget that) then add some frozen broccoli and chicken broth and simmer for a while. Once the broccoli's good and cooked, I hit it with the immersion blender. I don't purée it, but a rustic, rather than chunky, texture is really much better. Then I toss in some cheese. I always use some Velveeta (I don't care what people say, it really gives it a nice smooth creaminess) and cheddar for a good kick of flavor. Then I'll throw in any other random cheeses we might have on hand (within reason.) After it's all melted together, I add some milk or cream (tempered first.) I season with fresh ground pepper, and a little powdered mustard and powdered ginger.

However, I think my crowning achievement is my tomato bacon soup. Again, I start by sweating some onions in butter and salt (by the way, I use unsalted butter in all my cooking.) I also add a couple cloves of minced garlic. I also have in there some bacon! About... uh... four slices? I'm really not too sure... anyway, I use it frozen so I can chop it up before I put it in. Oh! And fennel seed! I toss in some fennel seed, that's actually pretty important in my opinion. I cook all that together for a while then add some canned tomatoes (just the plain diced ones) and cook that for a little. Then sometimes I dump in some tomato sauce. I think occasionally I haven't, but it's better with the tomato sauce. Doesn't have to be a lot. I also throw in a bunch of herbs (basil, oregano, the works,) some sugar, and, if I want a little spice, red pepper flakes. Then I got at the sludge with the immersion blender - again, not completely puréeing, but making it a little smoother than the broccoli cheese. Once again, I add some heavy cream - tempered. (Tempering is adding a little of the hot soup to the cream first, so it doesn't curdle when you add it to the soup. You may have already known that, but I didn't till Dave told me when he was in his sauce making phase. Gosh I'd love one of those steak and sauce meals...) oh! And parmesan. I sometimes put some parmesan in there too. Or you can add it on top afterward. Anyway, that soup is really good with some French batard and a good cheese.

That's been most of my culinary artistry as of late.

Stuff and nonsense!

2008-02-15T15:57:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was our fourth Valentines Day together. Yep, four years ago Dave swept me off my feet with an elaborate treasure hunt full of flowers, stuffed dogs, starbucks cards, and homemade cards. And of coures, dinner at Olive Garden - where we had our first date. I remember being quite impressed that 1. Dave was solid enough in his manhood to ask a friend to hold a card he had made out of red posterboard and hand cut hearts, and another to guard a stuffed dog and 2. That he had friends willing to hide in bushes and wait outside my dorm and run up stairs to help him impress his girl.

As fun as that Valentines was, I think I liked this one even more. I know "comfortable" is a word often scorned these days, but I've grown so comfortable around Dave. It's hard to believe there was ever a time without him. I think one reason people scoff at the word "comfortable" is because they assume an abundance of comfort means a lack of excitement. Oddly enough, I've found the opposite to be true.

In other news, there are advantages to not being as young as I once was. I've found I can neglect washing my face in the morning - just cake the make-up right on - and as long as I wash it before bed, I'll be fine. I've also discovered that I can go two or three days without washing my hair. Ha. Anyway, the small lines I've started to notice are from the little creases that form when I smile or laugh. And I keep saying, if I've got that much to laugh and smile about, surely that can't be a bad thing. So, I face 26 and 1/2 with a stout heart.

Nicholson is doing much, much better. He's at a very healthy weight now, eats and drinks plenty, and has become quite mischevious. He's also gotten a little bossy. He does NOT like a messy house, and lets me know when he would like things cleaned up. The soda in a paper cup leaked through and began dripping off the counter into a puddle on the floor. This did not please Nicholson in the least. He sniffed at the puddle in a very snooty fashion and meowed at me, looking accusingly from the puddle, to me, and back to the puddled. This persisted until I cleaned it up. Oh, he supervised the cleaning as well, watching to make sure I got it all.

And, though he's always been quite the "cuddle-bug" as my dad would say (at least, I think that's what he says) he's now taken to sleeping on our bed once in a while, and sleeping next to my side of the bed fairly regularly. He's a funny little guy.

I've also been discovering and creating new recipes! I'll probably devote a post to that some time. I don't know if many people care about my culinary endevors, but uh... what's that phrase? oh yeah. I don't care.

You know what sucks though? Not even Dillards has bras that fit me! If there's anyone out there considering implants, DON'T DO IT. At least if you're too small to find bras you're small enough to go with out. I'm stuck with wearing falling apart bras that still don't quite fit, a t-shirt bra which is fine for t-shirts but not so much with other thigns, or BERTHA: the Monster Bra. I think I'm finally going to just have to try ordering from online. I think it's come to that. And I HATE ordering clothes - I like to try stuff on first, espeically foundational pieces. ANYway, that is my rant for tonight. It probably should have gone on my other blog, but I'm just. that. lazy. Oh well.

I can't think of a good way to close this post.

It's raining, but I don't feel sad

2008-02-05T12:44:00.000-08:00

So, as much as I struggle with bitterness sometimes, I can't stay down for long.

I really don't deserve the friends and family I have. We are truly, extremely blessed. To know that people haven't forgotten us - that so far from "out of sight out of mind" people still actively care about us... it's increadibly humbling and increadibly overwhelming. People have done wonderful things for us. I want to keep that with me always - I want to pass on what people have done for us.

Thank you everyone for your support - support of every kind possible. As hard as it is to be so far away from family and so many people we care about, it's hard to feel alone when you know you're still in peoples hearts.

God has given us all the best in friends and family. I hope I can live up to their example.

"What's the sound of the world out there?"

2008-02-02T21:29:00.000-08:00

So, I liked "Sweeney Todd." It was pretty gruesome, there's no getting around that. But it was a very well done movie, and I love the music. It's been a while since I got really excited about a musical. It's fun to learn lyrics again ;-) Especially when Dave sings with me. Though, I think it's only a matter of time before he gets so sick of having "A Little Priest" stuck in his head that he might pull a Sweeney Todd of his own... heehee ;-)

Also, I don't like worship music on the whole. I really don't. There was a commercial for one of those "Sounds of Praise" cds or whatever on tv the other day - made my skin crawl. So many of them are silly little jingles that are sung over and over and over until they lose all meaning. Did you know that the Krishnas also chant the same mantra over and over to attain a state of spiritual ecstasy? Interesting, huh? It's also hard to take a song seriously when you've heard it come from so many mouths that have said such hurtful things - to faces and behind backs. I know nobody's perfect, but it never ceases to amaze me how some of the most vicious people can look so passionate as they sing those songs... And of course, being married to Dave, I've had many of the theological fallacies of said worship songs pointed out to me. I guess there are quite a few.

In that note, we're still not really going to church. Can someone tell me why I should?

Before anyone starts fearing for my eternal soul, don't worry - my faith has undergone a recent renewal. Fortunately I've been able to separate "church" from "God." Even when people fail, he's still faithful.

Here's something that'll get yer dander up - His Dark Materials: Really not so far off in his description of some of the things the church has done. (Before you eat me alive, I do realize that there are many good churches that do a lot of good things.) Of course, the god in his book is nothing like the true God. I actually feel quite sorry for the man. He's not an atheist. He's mad at God. I think somewhere in him he longs for an all powerful all loving God, but he refuses to believe it's possible. All that aside, the books are very well written, and quite interesting. They are certainly dark though. I wouldn't recomend them for children at all.

Well, now that I've disgusted you with my dark taste in movies, shocked you with my views on worship music, and divulged my absolute blasphemous readings of late, I shall take my leave. Have no worries, there will soon be a much more cheerful post to follow. I have many, many things to be grateful for, and I'm a natural optimist. I think I just needed to get some of that out of my system before I could write about other things. Good day to you sir.

What's on my mind

2008-01-29T07:02:00.001-08:00

Flipping around the channels we land on a chick flick. Dave, of course, immediately begins making fun of it. He doesn't change the channel though, and after a few minutes he says "It is kind of interesting though." I smile. "If it's on later and I record it, will you watch it with me?" "Yeah, sure."

He's not a chick flick guy by nature (thank heaven) but when one rises above the average (as in, it's actually a good movie) he's always ready to watch it with me.

Everyone else I know makes fun of me for liking the Disney show "Hannah Montana." It's funny, and has absolutely no objectionable material. What's so wrong with that? I like it, but I definitely pay the price for my childlike tastes. But Dave says "Don't listen to them, it's a cute show." He even watches it with me sometimes. (For those of your worried that I'm taking advantage of his sweet nature, I usually wait to put on the show until he's fallen asleep with his head in my lap - so it's a win/win situation. Also, I watch sports with him.)

He took me to see Sweeney Todd, then when I got the sound track we played it in the car and he sang along with me. I love the sound of his voice more than any other's.

He likes to do things for me.

We both sit at our computers in the evening. He plays music on his. He puts on "Tiny Dancer," and I smile. He looks at me and sings along: "Pretty eyes." I look at him and tell him I married my "music man." A few more lines play, and we both sing out "dancin' in the sand."

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it the rest of my life - I know he's not perfect (being human, none of us are,) but he's perfect for me.

Heehee...

2008-01-14T23:05:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, I'm a pretty big SNL fan. People talking on different personas, hamming it up, and making people laugh - essentially my dream job (think of me in pretty much every group presentation I was in at Letu.) Anyway, kind of beside the point... so, I was sitting here on my compy watching SNL skits on the website, and I came across this:

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/index.shtml#mea=48392

See if it doesn't sound just a little familiar. The girl's name is even Karen. I know I must have sounded just that obnoxious too. So, thanks to all the people who put up with me storming out of the room whenever a conversation about Lost came up ;-) (By the way, I'm all caught up now.)

P.S. Obviously the comparisons to me and the Karen in the skit are only the parts up until she storms off the elevator. Once she gets back on, the similarities end. For one, who needs a Jack when you've got a Dave? ;-) Two: Jack's kind of annoying anyway... Oh, and three: I don't run up stairs. Icky.

Aaaaaaand we're back.

2008-01-14T10:49:00.000-08:00

Well, we're in back in Decatur again! I'm sorry for how remiss I've been in my correspondences. Not that I'm usually that great, but I didn't take my laptop with me while we were in NY and San Antonio. Not that I didn't have access to computers, but it always feels weird being on someone elses's computer... and I have a hard time writing people back. I know that's a terrible excuse, but I'm sticking with it.

Well, the break was great. In New York I got to go sledding for the first time! Naturally Dave and his friends took me to the highest hill in the county. Of course, I didn't find out about this until afterward, when moms kept asking "You took here THERE??" Oh well. I'm kind of glad I didn't realize it was kind of dangerous before I did it. I barely had the guts to do it thinking that it was just a simple thing that all northern seven year olds do weekly. It was fun.

San Antonio was mild and beautiful. I don't think I'd ever realized just how much I love the hill country. I am, and always will be, a true Texan girl.

I'm sure most of you know by now of my hatred of unwanted leg hair. It had gotten to where I was shaving twice a day. I mean, I couldn't climb into bed feeling the sheets catch on spiky leg hair - ew! - so I had to shave before bed. And then I couldn't pull on pants feeling the fabric catch on spiky leg hair - ew! - so of course I had to shave in the morning.

We were in Bed Bath and Beyond a day or two after Christmas, and they had a Braun epilator for a good price. I'd researched epilators in the past, and had come to the conclusion that if I ever got one, it would be a Braun. Now seemed the time to get one. I had Christmas money to spend, and leg hair that was driving me nuts.

For those of you who don't know, an epilator looks like a women's electric razor. But instead of a blade, it has a top with many, many tweezer heads. It spins very quickly, and basically rips the hair out of your legs.

I will admit, I was terrified the first time I turned it on. That thing is SCARY. And painful. It wasn't the first time I used it. I thought "This isn't so bad, I don't know why everyone makes such a big deal about it." But I realized later it was because most of my hair was still to short to be caught by the tweezer heads. A couple days later, when I used it again, I came to know the true meaning of pain. Ok, so it wasn't that dramatic. But it did hurt. And it's kind of hard to inflict pain upon yourself. My leg kept jerking away, and I had to focus to hold it still. I had my iPod on random while I was doing this, and heard such ironic songs as "Girls Just Want to Have Fun," and more appropriate songs like the Finale from "Godspell" ("Oh God, I'm dying...") After an hour or so of that, my legs were so shaky I thought I might fall over. Well, not fall over maybe, but they were pretty shaky.

Was it all worth it? Heck yes it was! I had a kind of sick glee as I ran the spinning tweezers over my legs, thinking "I'm ripping it out, I'm ripping it ALL OUT!!!" And there might have been some maniacal laughter. But there probably wasn't. And I really didn't realize how annoying shaving twice a day was until I didn't have to do it any more. I haven't shaved in two and a half weeks!! The freedom is just... overwhelming.

Breathe fresh once more, a new year is dawning

2007-12-25T12:57:00.000-08:00

I think that perhaps my favorite part of Christmas is when it's all over. Everything's done - no more stressing, no more frantic running around. The world breathes a sigh of relief. I know most people love the parts leading up to Christmas - even feel let down the day of Christmas. I love Christmas day and what comes after. The days are getting longer, we're shooting head first to a new year, and it will be almost a year til I have to hear "Frosty the Snowman" again (not as big a fan of Christmas music as some.) I'm not a Scrooge. I just don't like all the hype. I'd rather spend relaxed time with those I love.

I always feel a sense of renewal the day of Christmas. The pressure is off. A fresh start is at hand.

Here's to all the old acquaintances I have not forgot. We'll take a cup o' kindness yet.

Coffee cake muffins

2007-12-10T20:30:00.000-08:00

We have some stuff in our fridge that I thought I should use up before we leave for 3 plus weeks. I searched for baking recipes that called for sour cream. It came down to a choice between sour cream muffins, or sour cream coffee cake. Then I thought - why not both?

I used this recipe (I love foodnetwork.com!) I didn't have mace, so I substituted ground cloves. Instead of a cake pan, I used a twelve count muffin tin. Fit perfectly, and cooked a whole lot faster. A few minutes before they were done I drizzled a little melted butter over the top.

And presto! Coffee cake muffins! I haven't always been a big baking person - it always scared me a little, cooking came more naturally - but these actually turned out really well! Nice crunchy crust on top; fluffy, moist center; and a pretty darn good flavor. I was excited. So was Dave, hehe. I think this is a recipe I'll have to hang on to.

Oh yeah, one more thing - spray the muffin tin with cooking spray first. I did, and the muffins lifted out just beautifully. Yeah. I'm pretty jazzed about this most recent culinary endeavor ;-)

Mmmmmmmm

2007-12-08T16:52:00.000-08:00

I got a song been on my mind
And the tune can be sung
And the words all rhyme
Deedle-ee deet deet deet deet
Deet deet deedle dee doo

Though it don't say much
And it won't offend
If you sing it at school
They're liable to send you home
Never knowin' what you're showin'
Think you're growin' your own tea
Good Lordy

Let me hear that get me near that
Crunchy Granola Suite
Drop your shrink and stop your drinkin'
Crunchy granola's neat
Sing it out
Alright
Da da da da
Da da da da da
Dee dee dee dum

I know a man was outta touch
And he'd hide in a house
And he didn't say much
Deedle-ee deet deet deet deet
Deet deet deedle dee doo

And like a man
With a tiger outside his gate
He not only couldn't relax
But he couldn't relate
Now he can, family man
Tried my brand
Dig

Let me hear that get me near that
Crunchy Granola Suite
Drop your shrink and stop your drinkin'
Crunchy granola's neat
Sing it out
Alright
Da da da da
Da da da da da
Dee dee dee do
Deedle-ee dum dum
I'll have a double please

I don't care what anyone says - I like Neil Diamond.

Compass, Chili, and Coffee

2007-12-08T13:55:00.000-08:00

Dave often has a much better way of putting things than I do, so here's his take on all this "Golden Compass" buzz. I very much agree with him. We actually got the books last night so we can see for ourselves before we pass judgement.

In other news, I like making chili. I'll often do the real basic stuff: ground beef, onion, bell pepper, jalapeno, can of beans, can of diced tomatoes, can of tomato sauce, and appropriate seasonings. Dave and I occasionally make pork and apple chili from his "Central Market" cookbook. That one is very fally. The other day I made a sort of "Italian" chili (meaning it had pasta and fennel seed in it.) Today I made chili with ground turkey. We're trying to keep the holiday weight gain in check with some healthier foods in between those calorie laden binges, and I've heard turkey meat is a little better for you. Well, Dave said it was my best chili yet. That made me feel pretty good, yes indeed.

We hung out with Brandon and Wendy last night. After dinner together, we all went and hung out at Border's. That was a lot of fun - I love book stores. And forgive me, but I love the huge chain bookstores. I like being able to look at cds and movies too and finding all the random knick knacks they have about. Wendy and I got coffee while we were there (another good thing about the big chains) and the whole coffee shop was flirting with her. Well, all two of them. "A ginger bread latte for the lady in red," from the guy taking the order. And after the initial chat up from the kid preparing the drink (which I'm pretty sure included the phrase "How you doin'?") he made a big flurry of adding the cinnamon on top and said it what I'm sure he thought was his sexy voice, "And now the special spices for on top." Special spices my foot. It was quite amusing. I enjoy being with friends who get flirted with, it's fun to watch ;-)

Adventures

2007-12-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

Decided to get creative: helpdaveandkaren.blogspot.com

They were doing inspections of the apartments today (for the investors or something) so Nicholson and I spent the day out. Most of it was spent sitting in the car and reading. We also had lunch with Dave - in the car - and sat on a bench in one of the park areas at Emory. Nicholson was leapt upon by a very friendly dog, though I don't think he realized it. Fortunately, I don't think the dog knew he was there either - I think he was trying to get to my face for a good lick. Later on a very excitable squirrel returned to his nest in the tree above us, and was apparently quite disturbed to find us there. He certainly gave us an ear full. I tried to explain that we wanted nothing to do with his nest, but he didn't believe me. I told Nicholson he should try to reassure the squirrel, but he just ignored the both of us.

Now we're back, and Nicholson has fallen immediately asleep. He had a big day.

Musical purgings

2007-11-30T11:05:00.000-08:00

I love how music - esepcially certain songs for certain times - can bring to the surface burried feelings and kind of drain them off. Like this one:

Artist:	Tait
Album:	Empty
Song:	Alibi

I’m trying hard to understand you
And your over-rated state of mind
Sometimes you try to move me to you
And make believe that it’s all fine

CHORUS
You say you love me, yes you do
But I know who I’m talking to
You left me so lonely and empty
And I don’t need your alibis
Cause I can see through all your lies
You say you love me and I’ll need you
But I don’t need to live my life that way, no way

Every storm deserves an ending
And a break to peaceful skies
And every night I pray for my own mending

CHORUS

Parading around like you’re a superstar
Is that who you think you are
The higher you go, yeah, the harder you fall

You say you love me, yes you do
But I know who I’m talking to
You left me so lonely and empty
And I don’t need your alibis
Cause I can see through your disguise
You say you love me and I’ll need you
But I don’t need to live my life that way, no way

I got this cd towards the end of highschool (or maybe during those three years in between highschool and college, I don't remember.) At first this song kind of spoke about the church as a whole to me. I'd been in a couple during jr high and highschool (and those three limbo years) where people said they cared, but all they did was judge. And then of course there have been a few more personal relationships where this song is very applicable. I tend to just stick with people if they say they care about me, listening more to words that actions. Sometimes it takes me a long time to realize I'm being taken advantage of. When I do it's a pretty strong feeling, and this song helps to kind of syphon it off.

Of course, it's been a while since the last time I really felt like that. But when I put my iPod on shuffle (which I usually do) that song occaionally comes up - as it did just now. And it reminds me that I'm free. I'm not bound to people just because they make pretty speeches about how much they care. I don't believe in being rude or mean, but I do believe in not letting others control my life. That's between me and God.

And now the wonderful shuffle has brought me the song "Hold Me Now," which always makes me think of happy times with Dave :-) I also like how music can bring on the good feelings.

Nothing, really

2007-11-28T15:17:00.000-08:00

Got this form Schmorgan's blog:

36%

I don't think that's true though. They fail to take into account that in zombie movies (the only documented occurances of zombie apocalypses) young, atractive women don't get zombied. So yeah. Pretty sure I'd make it. ::nods::

Keep the light on in your soul

2007-11-26T14:57:00.000-08:00

Got a usb wireless thing for my laptop. I'll get that set up soon. It's been kind of nice though. I think I was a little too addicted to sitting around on my laptop. It will be nice to get back into Scrabulous though ;-)

KIND OF DEEPER KIND OF DEPRESSING STUFF, BUT NOT REALLY DEPRESSING CAUSE I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP - you can skip this if you just want to read about my birthday and Thanksgiving

In other news, looks like I didn't get the teller job. Teller. TELLER. Good grief, people right out of highschool get teller jobs. I have a college degree, was extremely presentable (and I'm being honest about that - I'm very hard on myself about that kind of stuff,) and I had one of the upper level people there who really liked me and was pulling for me. I'm positively befuddled. It's very disheartening. I'm supposed to be supporting two people and a kitten here people, and I couldn't get a job that was practically presented to me on a silver platter. If I knew how to play the guitar I would so go downtown Decatur and play and sing and people would throw money in my hat. Dave has a guitar, maybe I'll just learn.

The only reason I can see why I didn't get that job is that God must have something planned. I just hope it's not a slow death by starvation. Just kidding. Though, that's where this could end if I don't get some sort of job. Hey, at least I'd lose some weight.

It's really a matter of trusting God and doing my part. Sometimes I just don't know what my part is. Wouldn't it be ironic if I ended up flipping burgers? That's what everyone told me I could do with an English major. Well, screw everyone. It was everyone who gave me crap when I waited to go to college. S'cuse me for listening to God instead of everybody. It sure worked with the whole waiting on college thing (did it ever! I would have missed Dave if I'd gone when I "should" have) and I'm kind of thinking that it will work with the whole English major thing as well. My first day in "History of the English Language" I knew for certain that that was the major I was supposed to be in, and there was never any shadow of a doubt after that.

I'm not stupid. I know how hard it is for English majors to get by. I was reminded fairly often. But I'm not stupid. Just trusting.

The first month or so here was very hard. I really doubted that God had anything good for us. I cried at him, asking why he was putting us through this. He provided the nanny job for those three weeks. Granted, the people were freaks, and their house had some bad vibes (seriously, it felt very... wrong there) it gave us some money, and gave me a lot of confidence. Having to stand up to those people did a bit for me.

Since then my trust has turned into something fierce. If I don't actively trust in God, I'll fall into that dark place again. I know, know that he loves us and wants us to be joyful. There are times when I feel the weight of the world on me. But that's when my faith just has to be even fiercer. Faith has always come easy for me. I consider myself very blessed in that way. A couple months ago was the furthest into doubt that I've travelled, and even then I didn't doubt that God was there - I just started to doubt he'd remembered we were there too. But til now my faith has been fairly passive - not weak, but more... calmly enveloping. Now, out of necessity it's become something very active, and very, forgive me for using the word again, but it really is the most fitting, fierce.

I'm trying to find a pet groomers to see if I can work as a bather. (Did that about five years ago.) And you know, I would enjoy that.

END OF THAT STUFF, BEGINNING OF MY BIRTHDAY AND THANKSGIVING STUFF AND ALSO MUSHY STUFF ABOUT DAVE

In OTHER other news, I had a really good birthday. Dave and I went to the aquarium. We watched the otters, learned about beluga whales, shared a big soft pretzel, and petted the sharks. A dream birthday, for me and for six year olds everywhere ;-) Seriously, I love the aquarium. I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. Especially not the shark petting part. Afterward we went to the Coca-Cola gift shop (which was free to go to, unlike the museum - frugal we are!) I love love love eighties soda stuff. So Dave bought me a plastic tumbler with the bright red eighties Coke font on it. So fun! We had burgers for supper. Good ones.

Wednesday night (the day after my birthday) Brandon and Wendy took us to dinner, then came back here for peanut butter pie and coffee (and old Office episodes!) I have to say, having good friends here makes a HUGE difference. I think that's a big reason it's easier to have a more optimistic outlook. Being cheerful isn't so hard when you don't feel like you're kind of alone.

Thanksgiving was great as well. I thought it would be a little lonely, just the two of us (ok, sorry Nicholson, three of us) but it wasn't at all. We put a turkey in a brine over night, and it was aMAZING. Sooo moist. We had a bunch of the other fixings too. By the way, best leftover sandwich ever: White bread, thin layer of mayo on each side, then cranberry sauce spread over that. Inside, turkey and stuffing with those french fried onion things sprinkled on top. Mmmmm.

Lastly, Dave is amazing. Every day I'm blown away by how much more I love him, and by how much he loves me. I always thought marriage sounded kind of nice, but I really never expected this. To look into someones eyes and be overwhelmed by the love you see there is indescribable, but I think it's kind of a small version of what it will be like to look into the face of God. Plus, we just have fun together. By we I mean me and Dave, though I would assume that God's there too when we're having fun. You know, since he's like... everywhere all the time.

When logically everything seems like it's going badly for me (job and money wise) how is there still something magical in the air tonight?

Uuuuuuuuv course.

2007-11-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

My wireless wasn't working. So I took the card out. Turns out it was busted. Got a new one. Turns out my computer's busted too.

Might not be online much now-a-days.

Why when I can't get a job is everything falling apart? I just want to be able to take care of us and get the things we need. ::sigh::

On the up side, I'm really not nearly as depressed as the circumstances might imply.

Kix and kitty

2007-11-09T07:06:00.001-08:00

I knocked over a box of Kix this morning. Immediately, Nicholson went over to investigate. I assumed he'd start playing with them and scattering them all around. You know what he did? He went over, sniffed the pile, and got a feel for the situation. Then he reached under the couch, brought out a piece of cereal that had rolled under there, and pulled it into the pile. He repeated this a couple of times. Now he's sitting guard, making sure none of the rest of them get away, occasionally scooping in the random strays. What a good kitty.

Things that have annoyed me lately

2007-11-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

1. The flat chested sales woman who knows oh so much more than me about what large chested women want and need.

2. Drivers in Decatur. Every single driver seems to be under the impression that they own the road. If you're not on your toes, if you're not driving aggressively, you'll probably get kilt.

3. Pedestrians in Decatur. Every single pedestrian seems to be under the impression that they own the road. If you're not on your toes, if you don't have the sidewalk constantly on your perif, you'll probably kill someone.

4. Malls in Atlanta. Basically, the people here walk like they drive. If they see you coming, they will purposefully move so that they walk straight into you. "What?? You're trying to walk down the same aisle I am? I don't THINK so!"

5. The fact that some people can eat the way I ate this weekend and have no negative affects - either weight wise or digestive wise.

6. Every time the phone rings, there's a weird computer on the other end. We're being stalked by technology.

7. The fact that no one in the world seems to know what large chested women want/need (clothing wise.)

8. The lack of time and money needed to visit both sides of our family for the holidays.

9. My material life falling apart all at once: on my last pair of contacts, running out of all sorts of face stuff (powder, wash, lotion - not big deal one by one, but all at the same time!) my bras all falling apart at once (thus the frustration with the lack of good replacements,) and down to the last two weeks of birth control (I've gone almost two years without having "that time of the month," and there's no way I'm about to start now. Pardon the vulgarity.)

10. You. No, I'm kidding.

Good things lately:

1. Dave.

2. This weekend.

3. Hanging out with Wendy and Brandon (which included brownie sundaes.)

4. Stake and Shake.

5. Nicholson (he put his paw in my hand yesterday, and we "held hands" for a little while.)

6. Annie calling - really needed that.

7. Jeanette calling - the horror... the horror... ;-)

8. The exercise ball (which has already done quite a bit for my tummy and thighs.)

9. The fact that SNL was a new one last night (and was pretty funny!)

10. You (unless you're a bastard.)

Dave told me to add that very last part. Blame him. Unless it's funny. Then it was me.

"What do you think you're doing?! You know you have no motor skills!"

2007-11-01T16:05:00.000-07:00

Dave said this to me the other day when I was trying to get the hang of our new giant exercise ball. This exclamation came after I fell over and nearly brained myself on the stairs.

Speaking of Dave, he has a new website: web.mac.com/d.t.blaser. Nifty.

More cat antics. Nicholson likes to be where we are. When Dave goes upstairs, Nicholson will often follow him up there. If I don't make my way up there soon after that, Nicholson will come to the top of the stairs and mew at me to let me know that I'm missing out on some good hang out time. If I still don't come up, he'll come down stairs and get me.

After sitting around upstairs for a while, Nicholson almost always falls asleep. He's usually still asleep when we go back downstairs. Eventually he will wake up and again come to the top of the stairs and look down at us. This time the meowing is usually a little more accusatory.

I felt like celebrating the more fall-like weather we've been having lately, so today I made pork and apple chili. It was different than when we've made it before. I think part of it was that Dave usually works with the meat and seasonings, and another part was that it simmered it the slow cooker for a good long while. Seasoning wise, there are some things I'd do differently. But man - the slow cooker made the pork meat "melt in your mouth" tender. Yum.

Today I think I was politely hit on. It was certainly nicer than the guy in Kroger - just a few days after we'd moved here, I was walking down the aisle at Kroger, and suddenly this guy appeared out of nowhere, bent down and got right in my face and said (in the creeeepiest voice you can imagine) "Just sayin' hi..." I almost ran.

This town has really brought me to the point where I HATE bumper stickers. Why do people feel their car butt is such a good place for pushing their propaganda? Most of the stickers are liberal crap (this town is really not doing much for my opinion of liberal hippie types either - I'm starting to have a strong connection in my mind between recycling and evil) but I'm not prejudiced. There was a very nice SUV the other day, bearing a sticker that said "Don't let the car fool you, my real treasure is in Heaven." What the heck is that supposed to mean? "Sure, I may be richer than you here in this life, but just WAIT til we're dead!" I'm really not sure that's the kind of message we want to be sending...

I just realized that the above paragraph could be offensive to more liberal leaning people - and I really don't want to estrange friends whose views are different than mine. Don't worry - I know that the people I've met here are not indicative of everyone who carries those beliefs. There's just something about this town... For my feelings on recycling, please refer back to my earlier post where I quoted the song from SNL called "An Open Apology to Mother Earth." ::nods::

By the way, I've been really upset that SNL has been reruns the past couple of times. Just thought I would let you know that.

Oh! Can I say, Sydney and Flic, I am absolutely jazzed that you guys used the phrase "Type 3 Ditziness." I really wasn't trying to make a phrase, but dang if I'm not jazzed when it happens. It's almost as fun as the time I briefly brought back "Whatever major loser!" among the girls on G2. Actually, that was pretty scary and totally accidental. But still fun.

I was a normal person for Halloween. Haha, no, I'm kidding. That would have been waaaay to hard to pull off...

"Honey pie, you are making me crazy...

2007-10-29T16:15:00.000-07:00

...I'm in love, but I'm lazy
So won't you please come home?"

Fantastic song by the Beatles - 20's style music.

So, how many of you have ever made coffee? Ok, now how many of you have ever made coffee and completely forgot to put the pot in the maker? Yeah. Now seating dizty, party of one... The really sad thing is, this is only the third time I've made coffee since the LAST time I did something stupid that caused coffee to flood the kitchen counter.

There are three kinds of people in the world. Ok, well, of course there are tons more, but for this argument, there are three. The non-ditzy. Oh sure, they have small "ditzy" moments about once a year, but for the most part they've got it pretty together. My sister, Annie, would probably fall into this category. (No, Annie, I'm not confusing ditzy with klutzy ;-) ) Then you have the ditzy who endearingly don't know they're ditzy. The silly things they do are completely lovable because they have no clue that they're doing them. I can't mention anyone who is in this category, because then they would be aware of their ditziness, thus rendering them a part of the third category.

This would be me. I'm ditzy. I know it. But there's not a bloomin' thing I can do about it. I've tried, really. So there you go. All the ditz with none of the endearing ignorance.

But on the upside, my cooking is so astounding that even girls want to marry me (winks for Flic ;-) )

On the problem of stepping from a bright bathroom into a dark and kitten infested appartment, Schmorgan suggested a red nightlight or a flashlight. Well, I actually have a nightlight in there already. It's a big blue seashell. Dave got it for me one, because he knows how much I hate entering a room in the dark - specifically a room with a mirror, and two, because he knows how much I love the ocean (thus the shell shape.) This is certainly enough to get me into the bathroom, but I'm afraid I still feel the need to turn on the lights.

Here's the thing. I have quite an active imagination, and, well, the dark provides a lot more space for the imagination to roam. And I really don't think a red nightlight would really be good. For example, last night I had a dream that I was trying to cast a very freaky demon out of a vampire cat that I grew out of green sludgy water. Now, I realize that all that came from writing down stories about Nicholson, watching Halloween specials on the history channel, and seeing Chester's tank in desperate need of cleaning (which I did today) but I still don't think a red light would help much at times like that. Yeah...

By the way, thank you to those who have said they enjoy my cat stories. There about the only stories I have right now... yep. It's definitely getting a little strange being so far away from any sort of family or friends. I have a theory that I'm going a little more insane (and socially inept) every day. Well, I actually feel pretty good this evening. Dave is pretty good at knowing how to cheer me up :-) But yeah. I know the part about becoming socially inept is true at least. Ask Sydney - she has been at the recieving end of my word vommit emails and IMs. It's so unusual not to have people around... I think that if Deena had not come and spent hours a night talking with me... well, I might already be insane by now :::looks around insane-like:::

It's a very weird feeling. Because I feel like Dave and I are getting closer and having more and more fun being "us," but at the same time... it's just weird to be so far away from people... ::shrugs:: We've met some really cool people here, so I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

The cat is draped over my lap. There's one little guy that doesn't mind if my thigh isn't skinny or rock solid. Apparantly it makes a good head pillow.

We think Nicholson fell down the stairs

2007-10-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

Dave was upstairs, and I was in the... uh, well, I was indesposed. So we're not sure, but there was a lot of loud stair noise. The stairs are metal, so they have a distinctive noise. And that was it. He seems to be fine.

I almost always get up in the middle of the night. I guess most people who read this have probably made fun of me at one point or another for how much time I spend in the bathroom. So yes. I even go in the night. Anyway, I'm always a little nervous on the way to the bathroom, because on occasion Nicholson has found it humorous to pounce out at me from nowhere. I've also stepped on him once or twice. The way back is always worse. By that time my eyes have been accostumed to the bright light of the bathroom, and I can't see a thing. The other night I was stumbling my way back to bed, trying to avoid stepping on anything warm and furry. He never gets on our bed unless we put him there (not since that first night where he jumped up and pooed on it,) so I decided to leap straight for the bed, so as to bypass all that potetially cat infested floor space. Sure enough, he was waiting for me on the bed. He jumped up in my face and ran off. Dang cat...

Yep. Talking about my cat again. ::nods::

Don't shake my hand too hard...

2007-10-27T14:49:00.001-07:00

...my shoulders are now perforated.

Last night I was holding Nicholson when Dave turned on the vacuum cleaner. That will never happen again. I won't go into details (mostly because I was almost as freaked out as Nicholson, and don't really remember most of the details,) but I will tell you that at one point he was literally hanging from my skin. A paw on the back of each shoulder, claws sunk in, five pounds of cat hanging and squirming... I was mildly traumatized. But don't worry everyone - I'm used to medical emergencies involving our little kitty. I immediately washed with anti-bacterial soap and then smothered the punctures and scratches with neosporine - or a store brand there of.

There was no nuzzling apology this time, but I think that's because he found me as much at fault as he was. We did let each other know that we weren't upset with the other. And he did spend a bit more of the evening in my lap than he usually does.

On a related note, I think we may know what breed our little Nicholson comes from! Felicia is the one who pointed out that he looked a little like a Maine Coon Cat. I looked it up, and found this website: http://www.fanciers.com/breed-faqs/maine-coon-faq.html. I was quite surprised at just how much the description fit Nicholson. It would explain a lot of things about him too - his size (five pounds and not even six months old,) the way water doesn't really seem to scare him (he's almost followed me into the shower on a number of occasions,) and his funny little meow (often more like a chirp.) I also love the part where it says a Maine Coon Cat will be your companion, your buddy, and your pal, but rarely your baby. That's quite true as well. He loves being in the same room as us, loves to follow us around and see what we're up to, but he's not at all needy. He's pretty much the most mellow cat I've ever known. Well... except when vacuum cleaners are involved... Anyway, thanks to Flic for pointing that out! We can't know for sure if that's really his breed, but it's sure fun to read about! (And Dave and I are both pretty convinced that's what he is ;-) ) I think it's really neat that God sent us the perfect cat for us. I see Nicholson as a living testament to the fact that God wants to give us good things, and that he'll be faithful to take care of us.

On that note, prayer that this "bank job" (my dad and I were talking about how funny it is to say that) will work out. It would certainly be a welcome change to this not having regular income thing... ;-)

I opened the twelve pack of Diet Dr. Pepper to find that the cans all had the old Dr. Pepper logo, with the "I'm a Pepper" phrase underneath. I really like that. I know it's weird, but I love the soda cans from the late 70s through the 80s. I really do. I think all soda companies should go back to their logos from the 80s. Right now.

Another recipe

2007-10-17T16:35:00.000-07:00

I've discovered that I have to be careful what I put in my body - I can't eat like I used to ;-) Dave and I have been working on lowering our overall calorie intake, but a lot of that involves frozen dinners. When it's not frozen dinners, it's usually take-out. I think my body wasn't so happy with all the uber-processed food, so I decided I wanted to have more homemade food. But I had a few requirements.

One: Something that can be done ahead of time. When Dave comes home, I like to be able to spend time with him - even if it's just being in the same room. Plus, doing it ahead makes clean up easier.

Two: Nothing really tomatoy or spicy. As I said - my body has been protesting, and I've had some fairly painful heartburn.

Three: Nothing super heavy - trying to stay away from a hefty calorie load.

This morning (or maybe last night, I can't remember) I was struck with inspiration. I had a very clear picture in my head (which DOES NOT happen often, usually I just throw things in as I think of them and hope it turns out ok) and I brought that picture into being. Here's what I did (in instruction form, cause that's easier):

Defrost two frozen chicken breasts and cut them into bit size chunks

Heat a pan with a little bit of olive oil and toss the chicken in (and what else goes in? That's right - kosher salt!)

After a couple of minutes, add some white wine. How much? I dunno. A cup or so? Enough so that you know you can get a light sauce out of it down the road.

Chop up some onion and add that too - half of a really huge onion was the amount I used. Oh, throw in a couple of cloves of garlic - minced please. (All this cookingness will go on until the chicken is juuuust done - no over cooking!!)

Boil some pasta. I used whole wheat pene. I really like pene for this meal because it doesn't weigh the casserole down. And I got whole wheat cause that's better for you. Tastes the same to me anyway. Cook it till it's done, but sliiightly aldente. It's going to bake later.

Now for the sauce. Spoon out some of the white wine from the pot. About... an eight of a cup? I dunno. Enough to make a paste out of. To make said paste, dump some flour in. Two or three table spoons? I have no idea. Enough to make it pastey. Then add that back to the pot. If you try to just throw the flour in the pot without making a paste first, it'll turn into little white lumps that YOU WILL NEVER GET RID OF. So do it how I told you.

Toss in a good sized zucchini (cut into bite sized pieces,) a golden bell pepper (slightly more expensive, but sweeter and prettier - oh, it should be coarsely chopped,) and some sliced mushrooms (I used baby bella - I think they're much nicer than the plain white ones (blanking on the name) that are most common in grocery stores.) Oh yeah, you can throw in some halved black olives too.

As for seasoning, I did basil, oregano, and some freshly ground black pepper. (Remember we put salt in earlier.) Stir everything up real good. Now, the point here it just to meld the flavors a little - you really don't want to cook the veggies much at all. They'll end up being soggy later if you do.

Oh yeah, almost forgot. Put in some shredded parmesan cheese. About half a cup I guess. Whatever looks right. It doesn't really melt into a smooth sauce or anything, it just gets gooey and sticks to the chicken and veggies - which I love.

Then, mix in the pasta. Not too much pasta, just enough to give the meal some body. If you want to end it here, you probably can. However, if you're making this ahead, here's what you do:

Dump everything into a casserole dish. Put the lid on and stick it in the fridge till you're ready for it. When supper time's rolling around, put it into a 350 degree oven. It'll probably cook for about 45 minutes to an hour. When you've got twenty or thirty minutes left, take it out and sprinkle some more parmesan cheese on top. And by sprinkle some more I mean make some lovely snow covered hills. Don't DROWN the thing, but a good coating is in order. Then, for good measure (and a little crunch) add some bread crumbs on top. Bake it for the remaining time.

What you get is a hearty meal that's filling without making you feel like you just ate half the cheese in Wisconsin. Or... where ever it is they make cheese... Anyway, the point is, it doesn't feel heavy. It's got nice veggies (NOT mushy!) and the white wine gives the chicken a really nice flavor. Though, obviously I can't make an exact count, I think it's probably not insanely terrible calorie wise. It's definitely better than something smothered in alfredo sauce. Though, alfredo sauce definitely has its time and place as well ;-)

And that was my inspiration for the day.

P.S. For all of you that said you felt bad for laughing at the cat snot in the eye story, don't. It was by all means meant to be funny ;-) I mean... heck, it was funny. Once the panic subsided...

Just had to brag...

2007-10-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago we were standing in the checkout line at Target.
"Oh" Dave said, "I uh, forgot something... I'll be right back."
When he returned, he was holding a copy each of InStyle and Reader's Digest - my two favorite magainzes. I think it takes a real man to walk through the store holding a copy of InStyle - of his own accord, just because he knew it would make me happy. A week or two later he scanned the magazine rack as we walked into Target.
"Nope." He said. "Still the one with Katherine Heigl."

What a guy. What. A. Guy.

P.S. I've been keeping up with my other blog again. At least, more than I had been ;-)

"AchoBANGoo"

2007-10-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

That is the sound I heard one afternoon about ten years ago. A minute later, Harry came walking into the room. "All I know," he said "is don't sneeze over sink. Or you'll hit your head."

Sneezes can be quite dangerous, as I found out yesterday morning. Dave's alarm had gone off, and I was stirring awake. Dave plopped Nicholson down on the bed to say good morning. Apparently, for a cat with a respiratory infection, a proper good morning includes a sneeze or two. As I was just waking up, my eyelid reflexes weren't as quick as they are by, say, noon-ish. The end result - cat snot in my eye. Projectiles from my cat's nose actually landed on my eyeball. I didn't think much of it at first, rubbed my eye a little and figured that was it.

However, it kept hurting. In fact... it started feeling a little weird. Stinging. Quite a bit of stinging. I made my way to the bathroom post haste. I peered into the mirror - not a pleasant sight on a normal morning, and now, well! My eye was already showing the effects of the toxic cat boogers. Within five minutes of initial contact, my eye ball was a gelatinous red sliver, oozing out from behind mounds of swollen flesh. (Note: I might have been reading a little too much Stephen King lately.) At any rate, it was not nice looking, no, not at all. I quickly shot a stream of eye drops in, then blinked water from my cupped hand. Still, it stung. I swallowed some antihistamine and some pain killer (for the swelling.) At this point, I was in a mild panic. Images of my eye turning to goo and dropping out of my head were not far from my mind.

I IMed my Dad and asked his opinion. He recommended I flush my eye under runner water. But, before I could do this, I had to drive Dave to his class. Don't worry folks - my vision was not impaired. My eyelids had pretty much swollen shut, so I really couldn't even see out of the bad eye at all! If I had had time, I would have worn a patch. Actually, if I had had time, I would have flushed my eye with running water, which is what I did as soon as I got back. I took a cup, filled it up, and doused the oozing orb. After a proper cleaning, the stinging finally stopped. I took another pain killer, for good measure, and crashed on the bed. Benadryl works as a knock out drug on me, and I was lucky I was able to make it to the bed before crashing.

I got up about two hours later, hoping I would still be able to meet Dave for lunch. Nervously I looked in the mirror again, and found that my eye was still pretty swollen. I also noticed some gunk. You can imagine that after trauma like this, there would be gunk. Well, there was. I removed said gunk, and looked at it - to check for anomalies. At first it looked like normal eye gunk (though a stark white, instead of the normal cream/green look.) Then I noticed that it was flat. It looked - my heart stopped - like a piece of dead skin. My stomach turned over as I thought "It's peeling the skin off of my eye!!" followed by the thought "Do eyeballs have skin?" I managed to convince myself that my eyeball was NOT disintegrating (which was quite a feat, as I can be fairly irrational in situations like this,) and continued with my morning... or afternoon. I don't remember. Benadryl does that.

I administered some antihistamine eye drops, and hopped in the shower. Having previous experience waking up with swollen eyes (yes, it's happened before, but never by cat snot, and never quite this gruesome,) I was guessing that the swelling would be much improved after the shower - and it was! I looked almost normal! Hopes of wearing my contacts to lunch (I really don't like wearing my glasses in public... or private...) lept into my heart. However, on closer examination, I made an interesting discovery. While my eye lids had gone back to almost normal, the white of my eye was still swollen. I did not know that the white of your eye could get like that. The iris was perfectly normal, surrounded by what looked eerily like strawberry jello. (The redness had gone down a little, so not quite a cherry colour.) I did not taste it, so I have no idea if it tasted like strawberry jello. I think it likely did not. Contacts were out of the question, though many more questions were running through my head. (Questions like, "Is my eyeball disintegrating after all??")

Since I had to wear my glasses, I picked an outfit that looked "student-ish" so that it would look like I was wearing my glasses to be trendy. Yes, I can be quite vain. I did, however, forgo any sort of eye make up. I'm not that vain... or stupid. I met Dave for lunch, and we had a lovely time. I wore my glasses for the rest of the day, and my eye continued to improve.

Today, it's completely back to normal, and I've been wearing my contacts since 8:45. I have also forgiven Nicholson, especially since this morning he crawled into my lap, put a paw on each of my shoulders, and nuzzled his head into my neck. However lacking his good mornings may be, his apologies are impossible to refuse.

This is life

2007-10-07T15:55:00.001-07:00

Deena was in town this past week. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights we had dinner, hung out, and talked a whole heck of a lot. We never hung out a whole lot at school, but we always got along well. And we'd been talking a little more over facebook lately - and playing scrabulous together after our previous playing partners abandoned us. We have a lot of similarities, but kind of see things in different ways. It made for very interesting and enlightening conversation. Oh, and it was really fun too ;-)

I came to a lot of realizations, not many of which I want to post here. But it was really refreshing to be able to talk face to face with someone I was so comfortable with.

We also found a really cool, hole-in-the-wall-ish soul food restaurant, thanks to Deena's husband. Then, thanks to my husband's directing, we (including said husband) ate at a little place where we sat on cushions on the floor. We had kabobs. However, we opted not to rent one of the hookahs they had available ;-)

Deena and I also ate at our (Dave's and my) favorite Thai place, visited our favorite coffee shop twice, and spent an hour or so at my favorite consignment shop. How fun to have a friend to show all my favorite places too!! :-D She also got to see our apartment, which was in pretty sorry condition, and our little kitty, who was also in rather sorry condition (upper respiratory infection.)

This weekend Dave and I had pizza Friday (from our favorite pizza place, of course,) and just chilled. Saturday we ran a couple of errands, and decided we didn't want to just go back home. We weren't sure what we wanted to do, until I remember about a "paint your own pottery" sort of place. So, for about the same price as going to a movie, we spent an afternoon painting a set of coasters. Pretty fun :-) We get to pick them up on Wednesday. I'm excited to see how they turn out.

This morning we went to church - yes really - and afterward went to lunch with friends. Yes, that's right - we have friends here! :-D Sometimes it takes me a little while to get comfortable around people, but lunch today was just really - here's my favorite word - pleasant. I really enjoy those people, and I'm sooo glad that we finally know people here. It's so much fun to have a married couple (Stephanie and Joe) for friends! I think I've had a couple friends who were married, and Dave had a couple friends who were married, but I don't know if we've ever just made friends with an entire married couple. So. That's pretty exciting. I'm having to learn about sports though, because the three of them talk about sports a bit. I'm actually starting to enjoy watching sports though... pretty crazy, but I know my Granny is looking down from heaven and smiling.

Dave has a paper to write for Tuesday, so this afternoon he went up to the office to work. I brought up a couple mugs of "candy coffee" (aka "hot cocoa with a kick" - that powdered stuff that tastes oh so good) and my book. While he typed away, I sat in the big red chair and read. Nicholson curled up alternately on each of our laps, my desk chair, and the floor. And as I sat there, I thought "this is pretty much it." I guess we have stuff to worry about, and we've been learning a couple of lessons the hard way, but all in all - we are quite blessed.

And oh my gosh. Pam and Jim. I am so happy. The writers had better not do ANYTHING to screw this up. Seriously. And this last episode was definitely better than the first. Dave and I have watched it twice already.

"It can't mean that, THERE'S A LAKE THERE!!!"

Jenna Fischer is my best friend

2007-09-26T17:45:00.001-07:00

At least, she will be once I figure out how to send a note saying:

Dear Jenna,

Will you be my best friend?

- Karen

Yep. We'd get along famously. Check out this quote by her (at least, IMDb has it quoted by her. P.S. She was actually a receptionist for a while, as the quote indicates):

"I had real potential. But my goal was to be...adequate. I didn't want to be an extraordinary receptionist, because I didn't ever want to be promoted, or be given more work. My time was really valuable to me. For example, I could type 80 words per minute, but I wouldn't tell people that, so when my boss would give me work, he would think it'd take two hours, but it would really only take about thirty minutes. So I'd have, like, ninety minutes of fun time. I got it all done, I just did it...real slow."

Isn't that awesome? Haha...

The other day, the gerbil died. This is the story.

Lucy had just woken up from her nap, and we were playing. I went over by the window seat to get something, and noticed that the gerbil (inside his cage, perched on the windowseat) was unnaturally still. I opened the lid. Still no movement. I stuck my hand in and rattled the shoe box he was so peacefully resting in. Still no movement.
"Oh crap..." I think to myself. "This gerbil's not waking up..." Meanwhile, Lucy comes up an notices that "Gerbil's sleeping!" Yes, yes he is Lucy.
"But, um... he's, uh, not going to wake up," I say.

Having never tried to explain the concept of death to a two and a half year old (three year old brother, yes, but that's totally different... and involved a dragonfly) I'm not really sure what to do.

I call my mom, cause moms are always good in these crisis situations, especially my mom. Especially when she doesn't actually have to see the animal in question. She advises me to remove the carcus from inside the house - not quite sanitary. So, I get a gallon plastic zip bag from the kitchen, turn it inside out, place my hand in it, and pick up the gerbil with it. The thing rolls over in my hand and the vision changes from a sleeping gerbil to a smashed face with a bloated, cream coloured eye. I quickly flip him back over to his pretty side before Lucy can see... and before my body decides to preform any adverse reactions. I seal up the poor dead thing, and (still pretty side up) let Lucy pet him goodbye through the bag. I then take him out to the garage and place him gently in the bottom of the trashcan.

When I walk back in, Lucy looks troubled. I'm sure she's wondering what on earth I've done with her pet. For all she knows, I could be an infamous gerbil napper. So, I sit down with her on the couch to have a talk.

I take a deep breath.

"Lucy," I start, "Lucy... do you know what dead is?"

Yeah. I told you I didn't know what I was doing.

She just looks at me questioningly. I take another deep breath.

"Ok, well... the gerbil, he's, uh, he's gone. And he's not coming back. But, he's ok. Ok?"
"Otay..."

When Isabella got home from school, I had to break it to her too.

"So, er... the reason we were late picking you up is... well... your gerbil kinda died."
"Oh."
"You... you ok?"
"Oh, yeah sure, I'm fine."
"Ok."

I could see she was a little down about it, but I didn't want to press the issue if she just wanted to deal with it herself. Later on she asked a question though.

"How... how did he die?"
"He looked like he just fell asleep and never woke up. Really peaceful."
"Oh, ok. Cause, our last gerbil, the one who used to live with him, he... well, we weren't really sure what happened. We found his head in one corner and his tail in the other. It looked like a clean cut."

I stood in stupified horror for a brief moment before responding.

"Oh! Oh... that's uh... wow. So, did the other gerbil do it to him or something?"
"No, he didn't look gnawed on. It looked like a clean cut."
"Oh... wow."

The next day, Lucy was asking about the gerbil.
"Remember what Daddy told you, Lucy?" asked Isabella. "The gerbil went to be with his mommy!"

"So that's the story they're feeding to her" I thought to myself. My stomach sank a little as my words came floating back to me... "Do you know what dead is?"

I really hoped she didn't meantion to her parents that I might have told her a slightly different story than they did. Fortunately, she doesn't articulate well yet.

A few days after that, Christopher had the day off from school. So it was him, Lucy and me all day. once again, Lucy started asking about the gerbil.

"Where's the gerbil?" she asked. (Though it sounded a little more like "Weah derba?")

Christopher, quite matter-of-factly, responded "The gerbil's dead, Lucy."

I like this kid.

And that, my friends, is the story of one gerbil's passing from this world. Rest in peace, unnamed gerbil.

An Open Appology to Mother Earth

2007-09-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

(Warning: Offensive language, but captures my feelings of today - reason to follow song)

"I admit I have not been recycling
In fact I have openly been encouraging people to be wasteful
I often go to other people's recycling bins and throw them into the regular trash
I own 30 stretch limousine hummers and I keep them all running even when I am sleeping
I always dump my unused paint directly into the ocean
And I'm truly sorry
Because
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet
And I'm gonna be a better boyfriend to you

I thought carpools were for pussies
And sustainable energy is for jerk-offs
Organic farmers can eat my synthetic panties
And baby seals can go straight to hell
As for "An Inconvenient Truth," I thought that was a veritable movie suckfest
I think a much better representation of our planet
Can be seen in the John Travolta masterpiece: "Battlefield Earth"

Battlefield Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful movie
Battlefield Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful movie
Battlefield Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful movie
And I think I'm gonna rent you tonight
Oh tonight
Tonight
Oh tonight
Tonight
Oh tonight

Here's what we do, I want everyone... - you go out and rent Battlefield Earth
Tonight
Oh tonight
And then, you throw it in the trash
And then when all the landfills in the world are overflowing with Battlefield Earth
Somebody will be forced to do something about it
There! We've done it!
But don't do it for me
Do it for
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet
Earth, you're a wonderful, wonderful planet"

I am not a fan of washing my trash in order to throw it away. Into confusing bins. And... seriously, digging the things I accidently threw away out of the trash? Icky...

So, I'm kind of anti-recycling right now. ;-)

P.S. That song always makes me think of Grey, because he watched that episode of SNL with us. It's my all-time favorite episode, by the way.

Cds, shoes, and labels

2007-09-16T17:55:00.000-07:00

Got the two disk soundtrack to Evita for six bucks. It's the movie version, but I'm very ok with that.

Realized that it's wise to carry an extra set of clothes with me to work. Actually, I knew that before. But I also knew it would take something like, oh, I dunno, getting caught in the rain walking to pick of Isabella from school for me to feel justified in carrying an extra set of clothing.

Speaking of clothing, I got some practical shoes. I was quite wary at first. I really like cute shoes, and I like things like heels and pointy toes that make my legs look thinner and longer. But Dave, very sweetly, helped me find two pair of shoes that are both practical and cute. (How great is it that he goes shoe shopping with me? :-D ) I felt a little like I was going back to my roots too.

Saturday morning Nicholson hopped onto the bed and snuggled with us. That's the best way to wake up on a Saturday.

I enjoy chocolate and a tall glass of milk. I figure a good way to get my chocolate fix is by eating chocolate cereal. It make not be the healthiest thing ever, but it's sure better than a couple chocolate cookies dunked in some milk. I'm trying really hard to get back into healthy eating, so I figured instead of my Cocoa Crispies (excuse me, Kroger brand "Cocao Crispy Rice",) I'd check out the Special K chocolate cereal. I just assumed, since it was Special K, that it would be a lot healthier. Fortunately, I love checking labels. Each cereal is based on a 3/4 cup serving size. Each contains 120 calories per serving, but while in Special K 20 of those are from fat, only 5 are from fat in Cocoa Crispy. They go back and forth as to which contains more vitamins and minerals, but there's really not much of a difference. The biggest downfall of Cocoa Crispy is that it contains no fiber, while Special K provides you with 5% of your daily value. I'm not too worried about that though. I usually alternate between my chocolaty cereal and a more healthy breakfast option. Anyway, the moral of the story is: READ LABELS. You may be denying yourself something that's really not that bad for you - or you could be eating something "healthy" that's actually throwing your diet out of whack.

French onion soup is one of the ultimate comfort foods.

The results are in...

2007-09-10T09:50:00.001-07:00

I'm a nanny.

I really don't know that there's a more perfect job for me.

Well, ok, being cartoon voices is still my dream job. ;-)

But being a nanny for a really great family - that's a job I can look forward to every day.

Quite a long post

2007-09-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

There's a reason I haven't been posting as much.

To be honest, I've been feeling a little like it's me and him against the world. I guess I've had a little bit of a "screw you" attitude toward the world in general.

We're seperated from all our friends and family. We don't know anyone here. I'm having a hell of a time finding a job (and I'm not necissarily swearing, it really has felt pretty hellish at times.) Rent in this area isn't exactly what you'd find in the bargin bin. And right now, we're really not sure where it's coming from next.

So, I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want people feeling sorry for us. I didn't want people thinking "well, at least I'm better than her." Thus, the screw you attitude.

I know we don't have it nearly as bad as some people, but there were times I went the whole day in a state of subdude panic - with some bursts of not so subdude panic. For the first time in my life, I've been angry at God. Why was he making it so hard for me to get a job so we could survive in this place he brought us to?

People kept telling me that God would provide - even if it was at the last minute (though every day seemed more and more like the last minute.) But the thing that really helped was something my brother said. He reminded me that I had three options on what to believe: One: God doesn't exist. Two: He does exist, but he either doesn't care, or he's malevolent. Or Three: He exists, and cares, and knows what he's doing. Other than giving me flashbacks to Dr. Batts' philosophy class, it was just the cold dose of logic I needed. I do believe that God exists, and that he cares, so... I have to trust him. I still wish he did things a little differently, but it really does me no good to worry.

You might expect me to say that after I had that realization, the whole world seemed brighter and everything seemed better. Well... yeah, actually. But it's not easy. I have to make that choice multiple times a day, and sometimes I slip.

Dave started school, and that actually helped a lot. He's really excited about his classes, and it helped us to realize that we ARE supposed to be here.

And of course - Nicholson has made a huge difference. We got a little kitty a week ago, and even though he made a terrible, smelly mess on our bed the first night, he has made our lives more fun and, somehow, more real and down to earth.

I'm still pretty scared. But I haven't just been sitting here waiting for God to drop something in my lap. I've been sending out my resume like crazy. I posted my profile on a nannying website, and I actually have an interview with a family tomorrow (so please be praying!) I feel like I've been doing my part, so I'm just waiting for God to show his hand.

Yesterday was our 14th monthaversary. I know that's kind of cheesy, but I really don't care. I made homemade lasagna. I altered the recipe a little: added my own touches to the sauce (I've found I really like fennel seed for that kind of sauce,) mixed up the layering, and tossed in some extra cheese. Ok, a lot of extra cheese ;-) Dave said it was my best ever.

I remember in a class last semester a guy got up to give devos, and it turned out to be quite sad. He'd been married for 14 months, and he talked about how when you're dating you have rose coloured glasses on, but once you're married, they come off and you see the person for who they really are. He went on and on about how marriage was mostly sacrifice, and went into detail about little things his wife did that annoyed him. He laughed about how one of his friends was driving to Dallas to see his girlfriend for Valentines day, and made it clear that he'd never drive two hours just to see his wife for a little. It was one of the saddest things I've heard. I remember thinking "We will NOT be like that when we've been married for 14 months..."

And we're sure as heck not. There's more love, caring, tenderness, and a genuine enjoyment of each other's company than ever. (Which is good, cause we don't have a lot of other company to enjoy right now ;-) ) I think that's what happens when a relationship has a basis in a solid friendship.

Last time I talked about how great things were for Dave and I, a couple of people told me they were jealous. That's certainly not my intent. Before Dave, I always found it inpsiring to hear of others' happiness. And really, if I didn't talk about how great things were, people would accuse me of taking my wonderful life for granted. Maybe not to my face, but I know that would happen.

So, I really have no shame saying that (though things are a little scary) my life is better than I ever imagined it could be. I'd rather be hanging in midair with Dave than living a secure life alone, or with anyone else. He's the most amazing man ever created. Our marriage is human, therefore, not perfect, but it is far more than I ever imagined could exist. He knows me and loves me in a way that exceedes the things of this world. And I'm not going to stop talking about it.

Today I woke up feeling happy and peaceful. So I made pancakes from scratch and fried up some bacon. Yummy.

Lentil Soup

2007-09-06T15:54:00.000-07:00

Sounds simple, but seriously. It is pretty much the BEST THING EVER. It's not hard to make, and it's a very tasty, very inexpensive way to get your protien. That's right, lentils are full of the stuff. And asside from some bacon and butter, it's really healthy. Anyway, here's what you do (this is my own recipe, by the way):

Toss about five pieces of bacon in a stock pot. If they're not frozen, slice them into small pieces (so they'll mix into the soup well.) If they are frozen, no problem - just cut them up later. Cool them til they juuuust barely start to get crispy at the edges - don't over do it. They'll be cooked more later.

While this is going on, take about a cup and a quarter of nice lentils. The ones from Walmart will work fine if you can't get anything else, but they aren't quite as good. You'll have to pick out more pebbles, and they don't have bright colours (which make for a much prettier soup.) Rinse the lentils, and pick out any pebbles or seeds.

Take out the bacon, leaving as much of the fat in the pot as possible. Then toss in an onion, a carrot, and a stalk of celery, all diced, as well as three cloves of garlic, smashed and minced. Add a little butter (trust me) and some salt (kosher is best) to sweat them. Cook them till they're soft and golden - about five minutes.

Next, add the lentils and a potato cut into bite size pieces (whatever style you like.) Also add two bay leaves and some dried sage - about a teaspoon and a half (not really sure, I've never measured ;-) ) Cook for ten minutes. Add the bacon back in and cook for another five minutes. During these fifteen minutes, add butter as needed. I know it sounds like a lot of butter, but it keeps the stuff from sticking to the bottom and helps it cook really nicely.

Add a can of diced tomoatos and chicken broth or stock. You'll want one to two quarts, depending on your consistancy preference. Simmer until the lentils are tender, about half an hour. Salt to taste (kosher again, of course.)

Dave and I both love it and eat it quite often. And it makes you feel so much better than take out or a frozen pizza.

So, there you go. Lentil soup. Mmm.

Too much stress + too much take out food =

2007-09-05T18:10:00.001-07:00

Stomach cramps the apocalypse could be proud of. I'm talking, falling over moaning for death to come swiftly type thing. Ouchie.

Funny how it often takes physical agony and exhastion to bring me to a somewhat less physical realization.

Just things

2007-08-28T18:44:00.000-07:00

Things we've made:

Corn dogs and potato chips (mixed the batter from scratch, cut up the potatos in our food processor)

Pickles

French Onion Soup (multiple times - great comfort food)

Tomato Basil Soup

Formage

Irish Cheese and Bread Pudding (Ok, that one was just me)

Lentil Soup (again, multiple times - very yummy)

Sandwhiches (not the "meat from a packadge slapped between two pieces of ultra-processed white bread" kind. Real bread. Real roast beef. Real good.)

Breakfast... junk (potatos, onions, peppers, mushrooms, topped with chedder cheese and fried eggs)

And lots and lots of real French Toast

Things we've done:

Gone to the Dekalb Famer's Market... many, many times

Atlanta Aquarium

Two Brave's games

Trips to the bookstores for coffee and reading

A weekend tradition of getting frappes at Choco Late, then going next door to browse the $3 cds at the sidewalk sale

Recorded and watched many funny tv shows and movies - sometimes accompanied by homemade popcorn

Had lunch after church with couples our age (half of whom are also attending Emory)

Things I've done:

Reading

Writing

'Rithmitic (riiiiiight...)

Sketching

Culinary experimenting

Phone dates with Christina

Wore a suit

Time after time...

2007-08-03T21:56:00.001-07:00

The other night Dave and I went to a Braves' game. It was actually my first major league baseball game! We had a blast. We both wore Atlanta hats, we got nachos, and we sat behind a very amusing family. Judging by the accents of the parents (think Sean Connery) they were somewhere from the UK. Another thing that tipped us off that they were European: the parents each had three beers, and did not get loud and rowdy. In fact, they seemed absolutely unaffected. Also, they did not drink Bud Light. The beer vendor came by ("Co' Bee-ah! Co' Bee-ah!") and the man turned to his wife inquisitively.
"It's Bud Light" he shrugged.
"It's dishwater" she shrugged back.
He left to get something of a slightly higher caliber from one of the stands.

Unfortunately, the couple behind us had no trouble with drinking "dishwater" (I heartily agree with Mrs. UK's description of that so-called beer,) neither did they have trouble sharing it with me. I heard some drunken giggling behind me, and was mildly surprised, and somewhat more that mildly disgusted as a fizzy, yellow water fall cascaded down under my chair. Fortunately, I have odd seating habits, and my legs were not on the ground. Neither, thank heaven, was my purse. Since nothing was damaged, I felt no great need to turn around and give them what for. However, I did mention, in rather a loud voice, just exactly what I thought of their dishwater - and of people who drink it. I think they were too buzzed to notice.

But, we won! And we got to see Mark Teixeira's first home run as an Atlanta Brave. Quite fun, actually.

Afterwards, we stopped at the Majestic Diner, open 24 hours. We split a ginormous brownie sundae. As we sat scarfing our savory sweets, Dave suddenly looked up and said, in a normal, conversation-volume voice:
"I want to cuddle!"
Immediately, his eyes grew wide, and looked anxiously around to see if anyone had heard. He then leaned forward and whispered, in a hushed voice, "I guess I didn't mean to say that so loud..."

One of the many things I love about him.

A few other things I love:

1. He makes me french onion soup (darn good french onion soup) when I'm not feeling well
2. He makes me darn good french onion soup when I'm feeling just fine
3. He watches the Disney channel with me
4. He's continually surprising me with little things (acts, items, or words) that he knows will mean a lot to me
5. He's dead sexy

At a wedding I was at recently, I overheard a couple talking to the newly weds.
"Enjoy the first year!" they advised. "It's over before you know it!"
They then looked rather wistful as their minds drifted back to their first year.

Well, I guess I don't know everything, seeing as we've only been married a year and a month, but so far, I'd say: It only gets better!

I loved our first year! I wouldn't trade it for anything; I also wouldn't go back. We know each other so much better now. We know what to do to cheer each other up, calm each other down, and turn each other on. We're closer. We have little traditions. Yes, our relationship is more comfortable now, but comfortable does not mean stale! In fact, I find our marriage and our life together more and more exciting the further we go along. Rather than looking longingly back at the honeymoon, I'm greatly anticipating what comes next!

But most of all, I'm relishing what we have right now. There's no sweeter moment than the now. Than making small new discoveries as we explore this new town. Than putting together our new apartment. Than cooking together - the way our relationship started (remember the omelet?)

Than being held in his arms as he tells me how he can never tell me how much he loves me.

"Cause love's such an old-fashioned word...

2007-07-31T18:19:00.000-07:00

And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure"

That's my new song. I've been listening to it on repeat on the beautiful blue iPod Dave got me for our anniversary. He even had it engraved... such a romantic ;-)

So, we're in Atlanta! Actually, we're in a small town, Decatur, that's kind of like a suburb of Atlanta. It's great. We have everything we need near by, and downtown isn't far away either. We've already been to the Aquarium, which has baluga whales and whale sharks! Very cool. I also got to pet an anemone, a ray, and a shark! I think I liked the shark the best, though the anemone was pretty cute. I think the shark and I had a connection though. He'd swing around just in time so I could brush my fingers on him, then he'd dash off before anyone else could pet him. Little sharky...

We've found some fun places to eat, but more importantly, we have our kitchen up and functioning!! I can cook again!! In my own kitchen!! Yesterday I wasn't feeling that great, so Dave made french onion soup - the BEST french onion soup I've ever tasted! Tonight for supper I made a hearty tomato basil soup. It was my first try at it, and I didn't have a recipe to go from, but it turned out well :-) I was happy. Oh, and immersion blenders are the best thing ever. ::nods:: I already have plans to learn some of the cool foods we've been eating here (like curry chicken - I'm determined to learn that one.) I'm also planning to learn to make some foods from where I used to live as well (no, not Longview :-P) Stuff like mole sauce... mmmmm... I'm also going to make Guiness and beef stew. I'm really not sure how you can beat that ;-)

The people here are really friendly. Random people you pass will smile and say hi. It's a fun place to live. Our apartment is amazing too. It's small, but it feels very open. It's really perfect for us. It feels like home already. We even have a teeny tiny little balcony (as in, barely enough room for Dave and I to stand side by side) so we can see what the weather is like or get some fresh air.

So far, we're having a wonderful time here. I am a little worried about a job. I mean - I have to get something that pays fairly well. There's rent, fees, food, clothes, Dave's school... ;-) I'm scared that I'm going to screw up and our lives will end up a mess. Dave assures me that that won't happen :-) I'm going to do my best to find a job too. There are quite a few openings at Emory, so I really hope to get something there.

I know I have many people to whom I owe replies, either in email or on facebook. We just got our internet last night, so I'm working on it :-) I am alive!

Oh! And how could I forget this?? Annie got MARRIED!!! It was a beautiful wedding, and Annie looked AH-mazing. It was kind of a sweet sadness for me. I know we'll never live as close to each other again. I'll really miss her a lot. I'm so happy for her though. We're both going to have really great lives, and we'll talk a lot on the phone :-D

I had fun hanging out with Bethany while she was in San Antonio. She and I and Dave and Harry went to Barnes and Noble to get the Harry Potter book at midnight (the night before Annie's wedding.) That was an experience, to be sure. We hid out in a management and finance section, and watched all the weirdos walk by. Bethany and I even stalked down a few and took pictures of them. It was pretty fun.

Speaking of Harry Potter, the book was AMAZING! I won't say any more than that, because I myself HATE spoilers. I will, however, let you know that I think I'm going to read it again, immediately. It was that good.

"You ought to ask Mister Mistofellees...

2007-07-15T22:53:00.000-07:00

...the original conjuring cat"

Also, we went to Boston. Just for a couple of hours. We grabbed some pizza at Quincey Market and ate outside amoungst the tourists and the vendors. We then stood and looked out over the harbor. We had planned on heading back to Dave's parents, but they called and told us it was too hot to come back and that we should stay at a hotel. You see, up north, they don't really understand AC. Probably because it doesn't really get hot much. But when it's in the ninties and there's no AC, it's really not comfortable to sleep in. (As we found out last summer when our AC was broken - though thankfully Mom had awesome window fans that helped a lot... anyway... off topic) So we stayed a night in Albany. For being a capital, it was a lot smaller and... kind of weirder than I was expecting. As Dave said, "It's no Austin."

Speaking of Austin, it's weird. I much prefer San Antonio.

Dave got me an iPod for our anniversary :-D It's blue and shiney and I love it.

So, I have another blog. I haven't given out the link for it yet. I've been working up the nerve. It's a very personal and real blog I guess. It's about some of the struggles I've had with my weight, as well as just some girl stuff (ie, how to get rid of itchey legs. er... the itch, not the legs) Anyway, it's pretty open. But I've learned a lot about myself through my struggle to lose weight, and I've learned things that have really helped. I guess I figured it helped me to read about how other people dealt with stuff, so maybe it might help someone else to read about how I've dealt - well, still dealing. It's definitely geared more towards girls (cause, you know, I am one.) Obviously I don't care if guys read it (or I wouldn't have put it on a public blog) but consider yourself warned - as I said, I keep it real, yo. So: here it is.

I'm enjoying being back in San Antonio again. I'm also excited about going to Atlanta in a little over a week :-D

"Oh! Well! I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever
As Magical Mister Mistofellees?"

One of my favorite songs ever.

The word "Magic" reminds me of how I used to always accidently spell it "majic," and how I thought the "j" was much more romantic than the "g." That reminded me of when we were kids (Annie, Holly, Audrey, and I and our various siblings and their friends: Harry, Sean, Mim, Josh, and Isaac) and how we had a book writing class/club. We were supposed to come up with a name for our "publishing company." We decided to take the first letter from each of our names and spell something out of it. What did we come up with? Majik Hash. We were odd children.

Lobster on a clean plate... or table

2007-07-14T07:36:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we went to Vermont for the wedding of one of Dave's friends. It was pretty fun, cause a couple other of his friends were there at the hotel and the wedding as well. The wedding was in a castle, and that was pretty neat as well. There was a forbiddin third floor, so of course we were looking for ways to get up there the whole time. Eventually Dave found it, and he and I and two friends snuck up there. And of course, I was wearing the same shoes I wore trying to climb around the waterfall a couple of weekends ago. They made a lot of noise going up the old wooden stairs. I tried taking them off for a while, but as we went up all sorts of rubbish started filling the stairway, so I put them back on. Once we got up there I was able to be quieter.

It was quite creepy up there. In a very cool way. It was badly in need of repare, and there was junk everywhere. Fun times, fun times.

The wedding was Saturday, and Sunday we headed to Maine. We stayed in a really nice hotel in a small town on the coast. The first evening we were there we stopped at a local shop to get something. The old man behind the counter looked a little like a crusty old east coaster. He had a tv on in the background. It was playing Anne of Green Gables. I poked Dave and whispered to him "Hey, that's Anne of Green Gables!" The man behind the counter said "Yeah! Anne of Green Gables! Great story! Great story!" It was pretty awesome. We asked him where to go for good lobster, and he told us a real local place. We went down there, and it was definitely a local place - didn't seem to be a lot of tourists there. There were, however, huge tanks of lobsters taking up most of the space. Having no idea what to do, the guy behind the counter talked us through getting a couple. After waiting about fifteen minutes, they handed us a sack. We took it back to our hotel room and set it on the table. Dave pulled out two red, very whole lobsters. We were expecting them to look like lobsters, but the thing was... they looked like lobsters. Beady little eyes... long flailing antenae... creepy crawly legs... kind of surreal. We went at them though. Tasty, but... weird. We weren't able to eat the whole thing... not after all the green guts spilling out of the back...

We then went down to the mainstreet of the down. We got coffee and a giant cookie, trying to shake off the lobster feeling. Later we ordered a pizza back at the hotel. That finally settled me down after the weird lobster incident.

We went down to the beach. The air was in the 60's. The water was in the 50's. It was really beautiful.

We even got a stuffed (fuzzy kind) lobster. We came up with a plethera of names, but I think the one that stuck was "Earl the Eaten."

For now, I have to pack. We're leaving for the airport in two and a half hours. More on the east coast later!

Hahaha...

2007-07-12T15:25:00.000-07:00

This is an awesome shirt.

Blog about the north east to follow.

Raises, sandwhiches, revelations, and full out nerdom

2007-07-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

My dad, at long last, got the significant raise he worked so hard for and more than deserved. It's a big answer to prayer for my family. :-)

Subway sucks. They skimp on their sandwiches in every way possible. Dave was there once while they were training a new girl, and they kept telling her she was putting too much on and to take some of it off. There are much better places to get sandwhiches. Take the time to find a good place. The grocery store here has a sub shop in it, and half of a seven inch sub is enough to fill me up.

I realized that even though I'm not a "man-hater" any more, and even though I have a lot of good guy friends, I still throw up those old defenses. Snappy cut downs, jokes, even the occasional punch - kind of the tough girl thing I guess. I realized that Dave is the only guy that I've never been like that around. Right from the start there was something about him that just put me at ease. Even before I realized I liked him he just seemed so safe, warm, and comfortable. I never felt like I had to act tough or smart or like anything other than what I was. So, is comfortable boring? Definitely not. I've really never felt so free, and life has never been so exciting :-) So, that may be all pretty cheesy... but it was a cool revelation. For me anyway.

I have my entire play list on random, and right now it's playing "Pumping Iron" from the New Startlight Express. So, I'd like to send a shout out to Annie, Holly, and Audrey. We were SUCH dorks. But such fun :-D And um... such on video tape... yikes. That's definitely blackmail material... erm... JUST REMEMBER! I HAVE A COPY TOO! If one of us goes down, we ALL GO DOWN!!!

Gosh, now it's playing Star Wars, taking me even further back into my dork stage... at this point I'd like to send a shout out to Annie and Bethany. And of course to Annie and Sarah during my San Antonio Star Wars phase. You know, no matter how many style books I read, no matter how many Ann Taylor sales I crash, there will always be a part of me who wants to wear a Star Wars t-shirt and jeans (though... not baggy. nicely tailored to my particular fit ;-) ) I still want to get down those playsets... I still remember soooo many quotes, not just from the movie, no, but also from the radio drama (da da da da da, ooh I love it!) and from our own personal erm... interpretations (shut UP Jawas!!) Ok... SO NOW YOU KNOW!!! I'm a huge Star Wars nerd... Yeah.... I really need a Star Wars t-shirt... Defnitely incriminating video involved in that too... yikes...

Also, I'm determind to get Dave hooked on Voyager. Gosh, where the heck is this nerdness coming from?? Oh well... it can't be helped I suppose.

X-FILES!!! I LOVE X-FILES TOO!!

Ok... I feel better now...

"Women are troopers"

2007-06-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

...said Dave's best friend, Matt, after I climbed down to and around a waterfall, then across a suspension bridge and then walked the long (LONG) way back to the car - in heels. I did take the shoes off for part of the climbing around the waterfall bit, but I couldn't take them off while walking back (going downhill in heels is kinda hard...) cause there was some broken glass and stuff. ::shakes head::

That was the middle of my Saturday. The first bit was driving down to... the place where Matt lives which I cannot spell but (to me) sounds like a kind of medicine. The three of us went to a farmer's market, which is quite a bit different in New York than it is in Texas. Stuff like that in Texas usually contains hicks, cutsie type stuff, and lots of fried food. This one contained hippies, artsy type stuff, and and stands proudly declaring "all vegitarian cuisine." Quite interesting.

We then had lunch at a little Greek place. We all had Ruebens. Go figure.

Then came the climbing around waterfalls and bridges thing.

Then we shoved three bottles of soda into my purse, snuck them into the theater, and watched "1408." Good movie ::nods:: I believe we all enjoyed it.

Dave and I then drove back and picked up pizza and wings for supper. Mmm.

Yesterday we sat around and did nothing til about five, when we went out on the boat with Dave's parents. We then picked up pizza and wings for supper. Mmm.

The food network was just on, and I'm reminded once again of how much I really don't like Rachel Ray. Very loud, she is, and somehow manages to take nice fresh ingredients and turn them into a bowl of brownish mush. ::shakes head:: If you want to learn about food (as in how it works, why it works, and how to bring the best out of it) watch Good Eats with Alton Brown. You can't get better.

The other day we made our own granola bars (AB recipe of course) Quite yummy, quite good for you, and quite filling - and quite without all the artificial junk in the store bought ones.

We've also done steak and asparagus, and salmon and brussle sprouts (I pride myself on the fact that I make brussle sprouts that people really like ;-) ) I love cooking and creating fun food things. I'm planning on making that killer brownie recipe soon (AB again, haha)

So, yeah. That's been what's going on here. It's nice chilling out, especially since this will probably be the last time for quite a while that we can just hang out and have fun for a couple months at a time ;-)

Farewell for now.

Not-so-desperate-housewife

2007-06-13T18:12:00.000-07:00

Reason number 53 of Why I Like my Grampy-in-law: Today he told me that Eva Longoria couldn't hold a candle to me ;-)

Well, we're in New York. It was kind of a harrowing experience and involved not getting to bed last "night" until after the sun was well up (although a fast food breakfast sandwhich was involved which was good - but then agan also, delayed luggage and accidental purchase of oversized underwear... which was bad and kinda weird, respectively) but we're here! So, yay.

Sydney, I haven't been to Homestarrunner.com in a long time, but I'm planning on once again being a regular, and I know I'll think of you when I hear that quirky little voice ;-)

"A promise lives within you now"

2007-06-11T08:24:00.000-07:00

Well, we drove down to Longview, getting there at about eight in the evening on Wednesday. We spent Thursday packing up. Our POD came. We went to dollar-a-slice night at Pietro's one last time. They told us they'd miss us... which is both happy and sad. Friday we found out they were coming back to pick up the POD much earlier in the day than we thought. We try to pack and cram, but... well, it was a lot more work than we had been expecting. The guy came to get the POD, and we had to send him away. We worked our butts off, but we didn't get everything packed, loaded, and cleaned until about eight in the evening. Dave just about killed his back, and I was close to hysterics the whole day, but somehow... it was still good and fun. There was a moment of intense frustration when it looked like we wouldn't be able to carry the matress by ourselves (kingsize, kind of floppy so it was very very awkward to try to hold on to.) But after realizing there really wasn't anyone else around to help we did it ourselves. I'm really not sure how I was able to, but I was genuinely afraid that some of my fingernails were going to be torn off due to my death grip on that gargantuan piece of foam. Paul came and helped us move the couch, coffee table, and four chairs to the village center until he could put them in their storage unit. We're going to get a few new things (I hope) when we get to Atlanta.

When we moved into our apartment it was the most gruling day of my life. I doubted whether it would ever be surpassed. But it was. Friday was probably the most intense day, both physically and emotionally, that I've had. It was also our eleven month aniversary. We had planned on going out to eat and to see a movie, hehe. Instead we worked ourselves to exhastion and ate supper at a Taco Bell in Longview. As I said though - it was not at all a bad day. As I packed things and moved from room to room, all the good memories of that place came flooding back to me. I was able to revel in the happiness we had experienced there without feeling the bitter tang of sadness. Yes, we left our first home together, but what makes a place home is Dave. Wherever we are together, that's home. That's why I can go to a city I've never been to, live in a place I've never seen, and work at a job that's as of yet unknown. It will be strange and scary, but it will still be home.

Eleven months. Wasn't it just a couple weeks ago that everyone was here for our wedding? At the same time I feel like Dave has been a part of me for my whole life. The more time I spend with him the more time I want to spend with him. It's really impossible to describe...

Since we didn't get to celebrate our "monthaversary" on Friday, and this weekend Ludwhig and Schmorgan came to visit (which was very cool - I didn't think anyone would actually come down here!) we're going to go out to lunch today :-) Tomorrow we fly out to New York for about a month.

I think I'll really be able to enjoy New York and Annie's wedding a lot more knowing that our stuff is already packed up and cleared out. As frantic as it was, it really worked out for the best.

Yesterday Dave looked at me and said "Do you know how beautiful you are? Or how much your husband loves you?" :-)

"Have a day...

2007-06-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

...celebrate
Soon, you'll find the answer."

Incase there was any uneasy feelings about the book I was talking about, don't worry - I don't think I'm fat. I think I'm still in a process, I'm still working towards a life style that will make me feel good physically and emotionally, I'm not as toned and fit as I'd like, but I'm not the person I used to be. I just found the book really encouraging.

In other news, AHHHHWAHAHAHAHAHABLAHBLAHBLAHYIKESYIKESYIKESWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Yeah. Dave has been working very hard to make things happen. I've felt a little useless (just slightly) but as he pointed out, I can pack pretty fast - skills we shall need the next couple of days. I was getting kind of stressed about stuff. Looking for appartments and jobs long distance is NOT easy. Trying to get a good appartment when neither of us are currantly holding jobs makes it even harder. We're kind of getting kicked out of our appartment back in Longview (apparantely we were supposed to be out two weeks after grad.) So we're having to run up there to shove everything in a POD.

It's really hard to think of leaving our first home, even though I'm really excited about where we're going (and about leaving East Texas.) I think this rushed move-out might be good for me. I won't have time to get all mopey. Once we're out and moved on I think I'll be ok. It's always the anticipation and the process that's hard for me. Once I'm gone it tends to move to the back of my mind. I still miss our old house down in the valley, and I know I always will. But as I've said before, I tend to live in the here and now, which can trip you up sometimes, but when it comes to moving it can really help.

All this stuff is kind of scary. It's stressful. And sometimes it's hard not to wonder why some people seem to have everything laid out for them and handed to them while we're working so hard to get where we want to be. But then I realized - compared to most people, we have it really good. Both our families have been increadibly encouraging. Even though we're doing all of this, we still get the chance to slip out for a date now and then. We've got places to stay. We're having a fun summer.

I also realized, this journey is only bringing us closer together. I guess these are the kinds of times when you figure out what kind of relationship you have. (Ok, so maybe these are only very mildy those kinds of times, but still.) We could end up fighting a lot. We could let the little things get to us. We could take our fears and frustrations out on each other. Instead, we've been building each other up. We've been encouraging each other. We go on dates and talk about where we are and our future. We can talk about our fears to each other, and somehow we realize that all the good things outweigh the bad. We're on our way.

I've been looking for female artists - mostly the singer/song writer types. I love to play and sing songs I hear, but most of the Elton John piano music I have is just not in a good key for me (cause, you know, guys sing in different keys than girls.) So I'd like to find some cool girl artists to get into so I can sing their songs. And then maybe I can learn enough to write my own someday... Anyway, I talked with Abbi online the other day, and she told me about Vienna Teng. I really like what I heard of her too. Anyone have any other ideas? I love older stuff too - 70s/80s la la, etc.

Oh, speaking of the eighties, my dream now is to bring back the whole 80s girl band thing. Like, happy music. Stupid kids these days with their angsty, politically charged music. What happen to the days when we sang about silly things that didn't matter? Anyway. Maybe I'll make friends in Atlanta and we'll make a girl band and sing happy 80s type music. I bet Annie and Bethany would do that with me... to bad we're all going to be in completely different parts of the country. :-P

Hahahahaha, guys, guys, I totally just took off my away message! I never do that! I'd even forgotten how. I had to look through all the buttons and tabs to find it... Yeah. So, I'll probably forget to put one back up, which is why I just leave one there all the time in the first place. But anyway... that was my random act of randomness for the day.

Hey, we should start a new word fad. I think I want to bring back the word "creamy" like Marilyn Monroe used in "How to Marry a Millionare." Ok. That's the word. It's used kind of like how people use "cool," but obviously slightly different. So, the next time someone asks you you feel about something you really really like, you can answer with "creamy!" Or something like that... it's very hard to explain just exactly when and where to use it, but you should get the picture. Oh, and only use it if you're a girl. Guys should not use that word, and ESPECIALLY they should not say it in the Marilyn Monroe voice. Ok. So what do I think of the apartment we're trying to get? Creamy! ::nods::

Bye now.

"Little girls, little girls...

2007-06-05T21:32:00.000-07:00

...everywhere I look... I see 'em...

Some women are drippin' with diamonds
Some women are drippin' with pearls
Lucky me, lucky me, look at what I'm drippin' with:
Little girls!"

I used to sing that as I walked around G2 ;-)

I just finished a new book I got at Borders. If you're looking to drop a couple of pounds, it's not for you, but if like me you've had serious struggles you might want to check out "Secrets of Former Fat Girl." As with any book like that there were some things I know aren't my thing, but parts of the book were eerie - it was like reading about myself. Anyway, don't want to go into it too much - kind of a weird and touchy subject, but it's a good book. It focuses on a change physically, but more importantly, mentally.

Things are falling into place... I hope. I'm not saying anything because I don't want to jinx it. Just kidding. I'm not saying anything because I'm too tired.

Dave is amazing, wonderful, strong, brave, handsome, gentle, funny, romantic, caring, thoughtful, smelly (when he farts in my face,) alternately scruffy and smooth (both of which I love) and many many many other things. As scary as this part of life is, it's exciting because he's there with me.

I'd planned a longer post, but I need to get to bed. Night ya'll.

"Come with me, and you'll be in a world of pure imagination...

2007-06-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

...living there, you'll be free
if you truly wish to be"

I've always loved that song. It makes me think though. We don't have to go to our imaginations to be free. God has set us free, but sometimes we don't want freedom. Sometimes it's more comfortable, more glamorous and exciting to be trapped by things. We like to be martyrs. Circumstances may not always be with in our control, but our reactions to them certainly are. This is a pretty awkward summer for Dave and I, but I really think we're making the best of it. I know I'm so blessed to have him too. How selfish would I have to be if I were uhappy? Well, ok, I know that no one is happy all the time (fallen world) and that there are real things that people struggle with (chemical imballances.) But I have a good life, and I don't need to travel to my imagination to be free.

There's a lot of freedom to be found in creativity and learning as well. My mind feels so refreshed amidst the reading, writing, playing, singing, talking, drifting in thought...

Dispite initial trepidations, I find I'm enjoying myself.

My final is tomorrow at seven thirty. I feel I've accomplished something. Not just because it means I'll be done with my college career, but because I've gotten through a math class by myself, and done pretty well.

Now I'm listening to "Brother Love's Traveling Salvation Show." Probably none of you know it, because I'm one of about three people I know who actually enjoy listening to Neil Diamond (Hi Stef! And thankfully Dave is the other one...) but it's a real shame, because it won't mean anything to you that the bushes outside the window are waving their evengold branches in jubilant time to the music. Nevertheless, they are, regardless of your disinterest or ignorance.

I finished "Lord of the Flies," and now feel like there's one less thing I'm missing out on in life. And yes, it was a very good book, and yes, it was a very sad book.

Everytime I think I've finally become truly myself, I find myself changing again. I like that. Somehow though, no matter how I change, it always seems to bring me closer to something deep inside. It's not really changing into someone else. It's kind of like traveling up a mountain, going around in circles. Every so often I reach a nice little cliff and sit down and think "Wow, the view from here is really great." But after a few moments of observation, I realize there's more to climb, so I journey on.

Last night I dreamed Darth Vader was going in for an opperation, and as he rolled down the hall on one of those rolly tables he muttered "If this doesn't work, I'll have to eat cheese again..." and R2-D2 made a bleepy raspberry noise.

Tonight Dave and I were talking with my mom about our graduation party, and our friends, and how we're all going our seperate ways and probably wouldn't really see much of each other.
"Except" said Dave, "Fjord and Bolt."
"Oh yes" said my mom, grinning cheekily, "When are they getting married?"
Haha... my mom...

It's funny, I'm not nearly as busy as I was this past year, but I feel I have so much more to write about.

Suzanne, some of the details of the summer are a bit hazy, but I think they're coming into focus for the most part. We may be going to Longview to pack up some things for a couple of days this coming week. We'll be here in SA this next weekend, and then we're flying to New York on the 12th. We'll be back for the week before Annie's wedding, then we'll go to Longview, get our stuff, and on to Atlanta!

And Flic, I'm very sorry that my dream gave you a nightmare. I really didn't know they were contagious.

I just realized I have the Spree version of Lithium on my computer! YES!

And we just watched an episode of Scrubs where the Spree had a cameo. Which makes that show even cooler than it already was. Yes, Sydney, Dave says addictions to comedies are a good way to fight the graduation blues. For you it's the Office (a show which I love and have followed so I can't really binge on) and for us it's Scrubs (a show which I only recently discovered, and so am able to binge away on ;-) )

So, in conclusion... DUCKS ROCK! ...um... woah... that was a total flashback to Saturday mornings when I used to watch the Mighty Ducks cartoon... Wow. Out of all the things that might have popped out of my head, I'm really not sure why it was that...

P.S. No, Angela, not really.

Jeanette, my subconscious misses you!

2007-05-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

Had another weird dream last night ;-)

I wandered into a museum and happened upon Dr. Watson giving a field trip. "Join the class" he said, and I thought "what the heck!" and followed along with everyone else. A few minutes in I realized I'd already taken that class and been on that field trip. About that time we walked through a kind of lounge/coffee house thing they had, and I glanced to the side and noticed Jeanette sitting on a couch. "Jeanette!!" I yelled. She looked up and saw me "Karen!!" she yelled. "Jeanette!!" I yelled. Then we ran and hugged and did that girly jumping up and down and squeeling thing. (Jeanette, I really think we need to do that now next time we see each other.) So then I ditched the field trip and hung out with Jeanette for the rest of the dream. ;-)

Alls I can say is Jeanette, you'd BETTER come see me in Atlanta. I think after a dream like that, I deserve it ;-)

In other news, I'm almost done with my class. In other, other news, I got a new piano book and am reading "Lord of the Flies," which I've never read before. And of course for light reading I'm still going through some Nero Wolfe mysteries. Good stuff. I've spent so much time reading and playing the piano and writing (even if it is mostly blogs, it's still good!) it's been very nice.

And now I'm going to go to bed. Cause I'm sleepy. And I'm curious to see what my dreams tonight will be...

"Would you mind telling me then what those four years of college were for? What was the point of all that hard work?"

2007-05-28T17:29:00.000-07:00

"You got me"

Points to whoever knows where that's from.

Suuuuch weird dreams lately. Last night I dreamed my teeth were falling out. Later on my teeth were fine, but I dreamed I was climbing down an elevator-shaft-like... something. It wasn't an elevator shaft cause it had windows and paintings on the wall, but... it was pretty much an elevator shaft... minus the elevator. Actually, I think I climbed up. Then I couldn't figure out how to get down. It's ok though, cause I did get down. And when I did, I ran into Karen from "Will and Grace" and we sang a song from Annie together... seriously, how awesome is that??

Then I dreamed I was talking to a cop or security guard or some kind of guy in uniform who was dealing with an hysterical women. He turned to me and said, in a chuckling sort of way, "You know, on the outside women seem pretty crazy, but on the inside DEAR GOD they're even CRAZIER!!!" And right before the "dear god" his face becam panicked. It was like a line from a movie. Pretty funny.

Weird dreams...

"My philosophy's to travel hopefully...

2007-05-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

And making each day that I survive
An opportunity to share the company
That welcomes me when I arrive
'Travel hopefully with me
Let all your thoughts run free'
'We can't have come this far...'
'What's that?'
'Nothing'
'Till with any luck you'll feel
Your inner voice reveal'
'Just where the hell we are'
Hopeful travellers me and you"

I finally just sat down with some music playing, my sketch book, a pencil, and some water colours. I didn't come out with anything spectacular, but it wasn't anything contrived - it just sort of came out. I'd rather have something that looks rather shoddy but is really from me than something that looks a little better, but doesn't mean anything.

I still felt so restless though. So I did something a little more scary. I sat at my computer, opened a word document and wrote a song. Well, the lyrics anyway. I've never really done that. Well, I guess I did a couple of times years ago. But this one just seems more like a real song than the others did. Again, don't know that it's that great, but... well, gosh, I've never had anything even remotely lyrical flow out of me like that. I felt good after I was done. I think I got out a little of whatever it is I needed to get out. I kind of hope I can put music to it...

I think I have too much time to think now. At school it felt like my mind never got a rest. I didn't have time to just... think. Whenever I did have a chance to just think (like at work ;-) ) all I could do was play mindless computer games.

I guess it's kind of like when your foot falls alseep. My brain kind of fell asleep and got all numbsies. Now, as a foot waking up, it's all tingley and kinda hurts. And I think there's a lot of stuff piled up in there that just needs to get out.

:::shakes head around:::

"This song is stupid!"

And Jeanette (I'm responding to your comment in the blog) one thing I always appreciated about you was the way you enjoyed my piano playing and singing and drawing and writing and all that stuff. You saw past the inexperience and lack of skill to what I was really thinking and feeling. That's why I never felt embarrassed showing you my work :-) You're very encouraging you know.

Anyway (back to general blog talk now) um... guess that's all for now. I may keep writing in here a bit, in order to sort through all the thoughts in my head. Or I might not. I like to keep things in suspense.

I had a dream the other night that I went running up and down the highway, passing the cars. Great dream.

I've got a jar of dirt

2007-05-26T18:54:00.000-07:00

I think something creative in me wants to come out, but I can't figure out what medium it's supposed to be in...

On the upside, my piano playing has become more creative. Oddly enough, I think my math class has helped. Somehow, somewhere in my brain the connection between math and music finally clicked. I couldn't describe it to you, but I've never been more creative playing from my fakebooks. Not that I'm anything to brag about, but with piano I've always cared more about personal progress than how I compare with others. So... that's exciting.

Still not sure what medium to use.