Dave and me

Warning: This post will probably interest only our mothers (Cathleen and Chris) if even them ;-) But writing/talking about things helps me figure them out and understand them better, so that's the main reason for this. And I figure maybe there are a couple other people out there who are like me, and enjoy getting glimpses into other peoples self-discovery ;-) This is a pretty long glimpse though...

Dave and I both took an official Myers Briggs type indicator test from the Letu website, and then went and talked with Steve Gatton about them (separately of course.) We found found out that I am an ENTP (Extraverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Perceiving) and Dave is an ISTJ (Introverted, Sensing, Thinking, Judging) I love learning this stuff about myself, and about others. It's really helped me figure out some things about myself. But I'm going to talk about Dave first ;-)

He let me go through the print outs of his results. It was like flipping through a list of all the things I love about Dave :-) His logic, his practicality, his loyalty, the way he seems so quiet at first, but is absolutely hilarious once he's comfortable around people.

And then I came across this section: "It can be hard for ISTJs to see the sense in needs that differ widely from their own; but once they are convinced that something matters to a person they care about, that need becomes a fact. They will then go to generous lengths to meet the need, even while continuing to think it doesn't make sense." That is Dave. Completely Dave. He's often bewildered by the things that capture my interest or mean a lot to me for seemingly no reason. But once he realizes something is important to me, he'll go out of his way to bring it home to me, to take me out for it, to talk with me about it, or to just listen while I ramble animatedly about it. The amazing thing is, he never does it begrudgingly. In fact, he often seems to enjoy it. Fashion may not be the most practical interest ever (though he's always liked to dress well) but he knows how much it means to me, and will always listen as I go on about the latest trend I'm excited about. He's even made the effort to learn terms and descriptions! How amazing is it that I can hold a conversation about fashion with my husband? And of course, that's just one of the many ways that he's taken the time and effort to learn about the things that mean a lot to me.

There are certainly ways in which we differ as well. Dave is orderly, loves routine and perfecting ways of doing things, and is very reliable. I am far from orderly, if I've found the perfect way of doing something then I find another way of doing it that isn't so boring, and I can be a little excitable. However, while Dave keeps me grounded and focused, I can help him with change and uncertainty. I'm very adaptable, and relish changes and surprises. Moving is fun and exciting to me, so when the time for it comes I'm able to keep Dave's spirits up as his world is turned to chaos ;-)

We balance each other incredibly well, and with a lot of gentle understanding for the way the other works.

E/I
Dave knows how much I love being around people, and doesn't mind when I pop down to Letu while he's working; or he'll take me out window shopping - just to get out. And I understand that while he loves being with friends, he recharges in the quiet alone times, so we always end the evening cuddled together watching a favorite tv show.

N/S
Dave notices everything around him - everything he can take in with his five senses. He's incredibly observant, and can find his way around almost anywhere. He's also very good at visual arrangements - he's always the one to arrange the art in our home ;-) I, on the other hand, could probably walk right off the end of a pier and not even notice. Although, the only way I'd get to the pier is if I was trying to get to the opposite side of town - I get lost going anywhere. Ask me to describe a place I've just been, and I won't remember any details. However, while I may not be aware of all the details around me, the things I take in sink into my subconscious and give me "feelings." I may not remember what a place looks like, but I'll remember the feel of it. Sometimes we'll see quite a normal looking person, and while Dave doesn't understand why, they'll give me a chill, and I know there's something that isn't right about them. And then just last night we saw a man who Dave thought looked exactly like someone you wouldn't want to be left alone with, but I said "Nah, he's not bad." ;-) While Dave sometimes gets brought down by the circumstances around us - the observations he makes about our existence right now, I tend to look forward to the future - I have a good feeling about what's coming :-)

T/F
I wouldn't have pegged myself as "Thinking." I always thought I was a pretty emotional person. (For you Jane Austin fans, I always thought of Annie as Eleanore and me as Marianne.) But the more I talked about it with Steve Gatton (he's one of those people where you just have to say both names) it became more and more clear that I'm definitely "Thinking." (Thinking types tend to be objective and base decisions on logic - a very black and white way of looking at things; Feeling types tend to allow for more grey area, taking into account peoples feelings and situations when making decisions.) I'm more practical than I would have liked to admit in the past. Deena put it a good way when she said that "Feeling" types tend to be more on the people pleasing side. I am SO not a people pleaser - I'm sure those of you who know me well can attest to that... ;-) I'm very glad that both Dave and I are "Thinking." While we're opposites in all the other "letters," I think that balances us out. However, if one of us was Feeling, I think we'd drive the other one CRAZY ;-)

P/J
There's a scale of 0-30, indicating how much you are in one area or another - He's a 9 on Introversion, I'm a 16 on Extraversion; he's a 19 on Thinking while I'm just an 8. Well, while he is only a 4 on Judging, I'm a 30 on Perceiving. Steve Gatton saw that 30 and said "Well, you'd probably be an interesting person to be around!" haha ;-) This is the part that means Dave is orderly, and likes to have things planned out, where as I'm very flexible and don't want to miss out on anything. Apparently Steve Gatton told Dave that if he'd been any higher on Judging that he'd have a hard time putting up with me ;-)

I was going to write a little more about my own self discovery, but perhaps I'll just leave this post as one about the way Dave and I relate, and how we compliment each other so well :-) I don't think that either of us really believe in soul mates, but you know, it really does seem like we were made for each other...

I belong on the shore ;-)

We traveled a bit this summer. We spent a couple of weeks in San Antonio, then a couple of weeks in New York, and then we drove from New York to Texas. We saw a lot and did a lot, but one thing we didn't do was go to the beach.

It's been three years since we were at South Padre, and two years since the chilly shores of Maine, and a year since sunny Florida. This summer I realized just how much I was aching to return to the sea. It really is my favorite place in the world. And this was going to be the first summer in years I wouldn't be able to go.

I started feeling pretty down about it. For the first 18 years of my life the beach was only about an hour away. I got kind of used to it being around. It made me really sad to think of not going this year.

One night I had a dream. I don't remember much of it, but I know it was one of the most real dreams I've ever had. I was on the beach with Dave. I know we were there at least a day, possibly much longer. But as the sunset on the last day, I turned to him and said "Now I'm ok. I've been to the beach this year, and I'm happy."

And I woke up and I was happy.

"Some have gone, and some remain"

Sometimes I feel like I'm not very good at keeping friends. I've had friendships that faded over time and distance, there have been fights, I've had friendships end suddenly with no explanation, and I've had friendships that were never meant to be and so burn out quickly.

I enjoy rekindling friendships that have faded. Sometimes. Sometimes there's just a bittersweet feeling that's left when you know you shared something special, but that it's gone forever.

When I've been hurt, I find it very hard to trust again. Little offenses in life I quickly forget. But something that wounds me deeply - well, I'm afraid even after I've mostly healed, I find it hard to trust again. Sometimes with good reason.

I can only remember one friendship that has ended bitterly, but has been rekindled and now burns steady again. It's not a friendship I deserve. There's something I did that I can't take back, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

But she's more gracious than I could ever dream of being. I can only say how grateful I am to be a part of her life. Many good things are happening for her, and I know she deserves them all. There are very few people I know I will be friends with all of my life. She is one of them.

A couple more quotes, and about a movie

"Hey girl!"

- awesome older-ish lady who talks to me and give me cleaning tips. It's funny because I wouldn't have expected a "Hey girl!" out of her ;-)

"You weren't even here long enough to meet my family!"

- How cool is it when customers want you to meet their families?? Haha ;-)

"I'm sad to lose you, I hate to see you go. But you're going to something better, and that's what makes the pain bearable."

- Could you ask for a better send off from your boss??

Honestly, I never thought I could be so blessed by a fast food job. I guess it shows you never know what will come of things, and that it pays to trust God :-) And if ever you're in the Sachse/Garland area and need a job, go check out the Whataburger off 78 ;-)

For my birthday (back in November) I really, really wanted Mean Girls, and Dave told me he'd get it for me. We found (for the same price) a sort of girl trilogy made up of Mean Girls, She's the Man, and Clueless. I love Mean Girls, I saw She's the Man with Christina and really liked it (watched it since getting it and liked it even more ;-) ) and I figured "Well, I'll probably watch Clueless sometime when I'm bored..." I wasn't feeling well yesterday, and I ended up staying home from work. I suddenly remembered Clueless, and decided to watch it. It took me about 20 minutes before I realized it was Emma! (The novel by Jane Austin.) I was pleasantly surprised at how closely the movie followed the book, in plot and in the "moral" of the story, without seeming contrived. I really enjoyed it, and I'm glad I have it :-) Though I'm kind of sad I missed out on that whole "as if" thing. Ummmmmm, no not really. ;-)

Anyway, work out time for now. Perhaps more later.

Funny Quotes from Work

"You look real pretty today"
"What are you talking about? She's always pretty!"
- The two really old guys that come in every day

"How are you doing?"
"How am I doing? How am I doing?? Well, I can't hear anything, everything hurts, and I still have to walk all the way over there! ::points to door across room:: But I'm doing just fine!"
- One of the mangers and one of the really old guys

"Um, I'll take a diet coke please"
- A little girl who couldn't have been more than three

"Karen, you're too white. You need to get some sun."
- One of the not quite so old guys that comes in every day

"You live where?? You rich little s--t!"
- Another one of the not quite so old guys (I explained that we're not - and that we're moving ;-) )

"Is it hot?" ::sticks finger in coffee as I'm pouring it::
"AHH!" ::spills coffee everywhere::
- Nice beard guy who comes in every day, and me

"You know what happens when you get my age?"
"What?"
"You get CRS. You know what that is?"
"What?"
"Can't Remember S--t!"
- Random old guy and me

"Be sweet! You always are."
- Old guy who still climbs roofs and works with air ducts

"There's my girlfriend! I bet you thought I forgot about you!"
- Not quite so old guy who was out for a few days for knee surgery

"This here's my girlfriend."
"Wait, wait! She can't be your girlfriend, she's ours!"
- Not quite so old guy and really old guy ;-)

"I'm going to the dentist today. I hate the dentist."
- Other really old guy

"I'm having a SLEEPOVER!"
- Another little girl, not more than three ;-)

"Double charge him!"
One of my managers - every. single. time. we get his card for an employee discount. Apparantly he thinks it only gets funnier ;-)

::poking me in the stomach:: "Gordo??"
Carmen, one of the cooks, making fun of me for eating soup instead of a burger ;-)

::hides around corner, peeking around and giggling::
- Really old man

There are so many more than I don't remember right now... I am going to miss that place ;-)

Happy Mother's Day

The other day, as I was washing dishes or folding clothes or some such thing, I looked down and realized I have my mother's hands. Then I smiled as I started thinking of all the wonderful things my mother's hands have done.

My mother is one of the most nurturing people I know. She thinks she isn't, but maybe that's part of what makes her good at it. By nurturing, I don't mean the kind of mom who hovers around her children doing everything for them, cooing at them every step of the way. My mom sees the best in people, and will subtly nudge them in that direction. She has never told me what to do with my life, but she listens as I talk about ideas I have. She's always encouraging, and always believes in us one hundred percent. No matter what is going on in our lives, she always lets us know how proud she is of us. This goes for me and my siblings, as well as the two men who have joined our family by marriage. She doesn't discriminate - she considers Dave and Paul her sons now.

That's another thing I love about my mother - she thinks as highly of Dave as I do. I know that when I'm frustrated I can call my mom, she'll let me vent, and then she'll gently help me see Dave's side of things. It means so much to me that I know she'll never, ever put him down. I'm so blessed to have parents who love and accept my husband as their own.

It's not just our lives that my mother has made a difference in. She was a teacher for a few years, before her family came along. Though I wasn't there, I know she made a difference in those lives. I know this because I saw how she taught classes at our homeschool co-ops. She's not the kind who tolerates disrespect or cutting up. This is not to say she's not fun - her class on radio drama was a blast. She believes in structure and order, which is something children need and respond to. She has "the look," and we've seen it quell a vampire in one look. (You may think I'm making that up, but I'm not.) She was strict with kids sometimes, but instead of driving them away, it seemed to draw them to her. It's because they knew she was doing it because she genuinely cared about them - she wanted them to become the best they could. My mother always had a soft spot for the "troublemakers." It made her so upset to hear other moms saying derogatory things about them. She always saw deeper, into the heart of kids. And she's been right about them.

Now that we've all grown and are either in college, or past it, she's still doing things to improve children's education. She, along with several other homeschooling moms, run a Homeschool Round-Up every summer. They organize booths, speakers, book tables, even meals. It's a place for families to come get information and encouragement. Every summer my mother pushes herself to exhaustion to make this happen. She has always gotten joy out of helping others, and I'm proud to have inherited her hands. I hope I can use them in such wonderful ways as she has.

But I haven't been blessed with just one amazing mother. Dave's mother has been more than I ever thought possible in a mother-in-law. I was immediately welcomed into the Blaser family. Instead of questioning me to see if I was good enough for her son, or making small talk out of obligation, Chris talked with me out of an genuine desire get to know me.

Chris is fun. She's just a fun person to be around. She's always laughing. She's always ready to jump in the car and go somewhere. But we also have fun staying in and making fun of dumb tv shows. She's my favorite person to go shopping with (well, tied with Annie ;-) ) She gets me to try on things I'd never think to try myself, but at the same time she never judges me for my taste - even when it's different from hers.

Fun is far from the only word to describe Chris. She's a fiercely loyal friend, and she feels deeply what her friends feel. If someone she cares about is hurting, she's right there hurting with them, and she'll do whatever she can to make things better.

She, too, has a desire to help people. I don't think you could be as great a nurse as she is (and she really is) for as long as she has been, and still be so joyful in life, if she didn't have that desire. Anyone who can claim Chris Blaser as a friend is blessed indeed. And she has categorically broken every mother-in-law stereotype there ever was ;-)

I honestly can't believe how blessed I am to have these two women in my life. They have both influenced my life greatly, and I strive to be more like them everyday. I know I don't deserve them, but I certainly never take them for granted. I love you both, and I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Petrified key limes make good cat toys

They're trying to retrieve one from under my desk right now.

I guess it's been a while again. Things have happened. We were able to go to SA for a week while Harry was in town for spring break. We did pretty much nothing, and it was pretty fun ;-) Well, we did wash pretty much every car at the house - except for Harry's, which we realized after we left. Sorry Harry. I played the piano quite a bit, which was really great. Seriously. It was really nice just to chill out with family, eat grilled meals on the back porch, and play games in the evenings. I even actually won a game, which does not happen very often. Annie and I browsed Ulta (and even got a couple things, cause she had a coupon and they had a sale) and then went to Barns & Noble and looked at hair and make-up books. Fun girls night. I got to catch up with family members, and of course at least one Sherwood was over almost every night when we were there. Dave and I also got time to just sit and talk. I know, I know, we see each other every day and spend all kinds of time together. But sometimes it's good to get someplace other than your own home - I don't know why, but it makes a difference. That's why going out on dates is important, though a little bit harder when you don't want to actually spend money... ;-)

(Dave is now singing "All the single ladies, all the single ladies" Thank you Beyonce)

Anyway. There have been ups. There have been downs. Today I'm having a good day. I think that things are looking up. Though, we've thought that before. I'm really trying to keep any mild feelings of hope, excitment about life, or relief at bay, because that's really come back to bite me in the butt sooo many times. But, for now I think things are going ok. There have been some good things going on. No, I'm not pregnant. Just don't even ask. GOSH people. Haha, but seriously, my favorite thing to do now is to ask newly weds if they're pregnant. Well, if I know them. If I didn't know them that would be weird.

In other news, our cats are still awesome. They're huge (16 and 18 or 19 I think) and sometimes that does cause problems, especially after they spend a week with their tiny little aunty Llyan who can dantily jump on or over anything. After watching her, they always decide to try it. No matter how many times it doesnt work... And yes, they are certainly big enough to leap our kitchen counter in a single bound. I can't tell you how many times I've opened our bedroom door in the morning and found produce at my feet. The other day they discovered a whole bag of key limes. Thus the title of the post. But they're very sweet, and very entertaining. Sure, they run around like crazy sometimes, tearing a path of distruction behind them (ok, not that bad) but it's worth it for the times they look at you, their big amber eyes full of meaning, and you can almost hear them saying "I love you." Well, you can definitely hear them purring anyway. Yeah, ok, that was sappy. I don't feel bad writing it though, as long as one person (Sydney!) will know what I'm talking about ;-)

We've been going through our seasons of Scrubs again. Which you would probably know if you talk to me (and watch the show.) I somehow always pick up on tones, inflections, and phrasology from whatever show we're currently binging on. I also pick up things from books. It's really funny when I've been reading a lot of Agatha Christie. Lingo from the 20s, 30s, 40s... er, lets just say all the way to even the 70s... ANYWAY, proper british + period speach ends up seeping into my vocabulary. And it gets mixed with everything else up in there... also, I mimic (and sometimes mock) the people I hear around me. Seriously, I was SO meant to be a cartoon voice!! How do you get discovered as a cartoon voice?

Anyway... that's probably enough rambling for now.

P.S. I love my new hair cut. Or... you know, my three week old hair cut...